Author Topic: An Error Has Occurred! A sequel to Revenge of the Banned  (Read 20693 times)

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Offline Blocky97

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Re: An Error Has Occurred! A sequel to Revenge of the Banned
« Reply #30 on: January 17, 2010, 07:44:49 PM »
great chapter!

Offline Darth Revan

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Re: An Error Has Occurred! A sequel to Revenge of the Banned
« Reply #31 on: January 17, 2010, 10:42:28 PM »
Take your time. Quality over quantity, remember.
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Re: An Error Has Occurred! A sequel to Revenge of the Banned
« Reply #32 on: January 17, 2010, 10:43:40 PM »
Patience Seal. Take your time.

Offline Horsefan1023 (Seal)

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Re: An Error Has Occurred! A sequel to Revenge of the Banned
« Reply #33 on: January 17, 2010, 10:47:49 PM »
I have plenty of patience, don't worry.

...I have plenty of laziness, too.   :P
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Offline Darth Revan

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Re: An Error Has Occurred! A sequel to Revenge of the Banned
« Reply #34 on: January 17, 2010, 10:49:21 PM »
Well you're doing better than I am, it's been forever since I've written more in my Fanfic. I still have no idea where the story should go.
RAFengaged to Midnight_Huntress


Offline Blocky97

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Re: An Error Has Occurred! A sequel to Revenge of the Banned
« Reply #35 on: January 23, 2010, 08:54:39 PM »
haha, I was wondering were that one went! it was good

Offline Darth Revan

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Re: An Error Has Occurred! A sequel to Revenge of the Banned
« Reply #36 on: January 24, 2010, 05:25:10 AM »
Really? Thanks. No one posted in my discussion thread, so I figured most people read a couple lines and forgot about it. Well with the HALO RP building up to the more exciting stage, I might be in the SPARTAN mind-set even more. So I may start it back up. I just have to decide the next step.


So speaking of writer's block and making plot decisions, how's A.E.H.O, Seal?
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Offline Horsefan1023 (Seal)

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Re: An Error Has Occurred! A sequel to Revenge of the Banned
« Reply #37 on: January 24, 2010, 01:56:02 PM »
It's done!  Lol, here's Chapter Two.

Chapter Two--The Error
Mere minutes before the prologue


   Dameg wandered around the grounds, humming aimlessly to herself.  Tocade came up beside her.  "Hey Dameg."  She said.  "What's new?"
   "Nothing much."  Said Dameg, sitting on a nearby bench.  "Just thinking."
   Tocade gave her a keen glance, guessing what she was thinking about, but said nothing.
   They sat in silence for a little while, watching the sun shine on the newly installed lake, the reflections broken by Seal diving in headfirst.
   There was more silence between them.
   "Why did Queen do it?"  Asked Tocade unexpectidely.
   Dameg shrugged.  "She's a phsyco."
   "Why...why her?  Why did Queen do that to her?"
   No need to ask who was "her" and what was "that."
   "Once again, she's a phsyco.  But...I really don't know why she did all of it."
   "I guess no one will." 
   "Nope."
   "At least she's gone now."
   "Yup."
   Ah, fateful words.

One minute before the prologue...

   KitsuneMarie walked over to the lake and sat down, watching for Seal.  After what seemed like an impossibly long time, Seal surfaced.  "Hi Kitsune!"  She said cheerful, pulling herself onto the bank and shaking herself.  "Seems like it's gonna be hot today."
   "I see you're cooling down already," said Marie, backing away from the droplets flying from Seal's fur.  "Woah, careful.  My fur doesn't dry as easily as yours does, remember.
   "Oh, yeah.  Sorry."  Said Seal, then just siphoning all the water off of her with a wave of her flipper, taking it off of Marie too. 
   "That's okay."
   "So, did you hear about the--"
   
   KitsuneMarie never got to find out what Seal said.  At the moment, something came whizzing out of nowhere, flying over the wall and embedding in the ground.  It was a small sphere of green, glowing stuff.  It just sat there, in the ground.  There was a faint beeping coming from it.   
   Then it exploded.
   Not a huge fire-and-destroying stuff explosion.  The sphere just blew up, sending the green stuff flying into the air.  It hovered for a moment.
   None of the RAFians outside moved.  They all stood, staring at the hovering green stuff.  Then, the green stuff went flying everywhere.  A piece  of it came shooting towards Marie.  She gasped, closed her eyes, and waited for impact, and...
   Impact never came.  Kitsune opened her eyes a slit, and at once they flew wide open.  Everything was white.  Then, jumbled images flashed past her eyes.  She couldn't make sense of them, one moment they were there, and the next they were gone, moving onto another image.  Marie got the sense of being hurled about, jolted and bumped.  Then, everything went white again, and black letters flashed before her eyes.

   AN ERROR HAS OCCURRED!
   
   The letters vanished, and so did everything else.  The world went black.

   "Is she awake?"
   "I dunno.  Where did she come from?"
   Something jabbed into Jess's side.
   "Shadow!  Stop poking her!"
   "I just wanted to make sure she was human."
   Human?  The dim thought pricked at Jess's mind.  Human?  But...I'm Tyclaireacorn...
   "Still no reason to jab her."
   "But I--hey!  She's awake!"
   "Um, ouch."  Said Jess opening one eye.  Then she opened the other.  She was lying on the ground.  A house stood not far away, and more houses beyond that.  Two cloaked figures were standing over her.
   "Uh, Cloaky?"  She asked blearily.
   "Cloaky?"  Said the shorter of the two figures.  "How do you know Uncle Cloaky?"
   "Uncle Cloaky?"  Said Jess, sitting up.  Then she remembered.  "Hey...you must be...Shadow, right?"
   "Yes!"  Said Shadow happily.  "Then, if you know Uncle, you must be a RAFian!  How did you get here?"
   "I think that's what I'd like to know too."  Said the taller figure in a soft, kind voice.  "I'm Faith, Cloaky's sister, and this is obviously my daughter Shadow.  You're injured."  Added Faith, looking concerned."
   "I'm Jess, nice to meet you.  And...injured?"  Then Jess realized where the pain was coming from.  She raised her right forearm.  A long, neat scoop was taken out of it.  It looked almost like a Dracon burn.
   "Come inside."  Said Faith, helping Jess to her feet.  "Shadow and I will patch you up, and you can tell us what happened."
   "Hey, wait," said Jess.  A full impact hit her, then.  "I'm a human!  What..."
   Faith tilted her head to one side, and Jess guessed that under her hood she was looking puzzled.  "Yes, you're human.  Are you not supposed to be?"
   "No...I mean, yes, I'm not supposed to be human.  Before I came here...I was Tyclaireacorn."
   Shadow, under her hood, stared.  "What in the Nexus is a Tyclaireacorn?"
   Jess sighed.  "I'll explain later.  Let's go inside."

   Jax in a Box, or just Jax, groaned.  One of his legs was pulsing pain.  Heavy weights seemed to be pressing down on every inch of his body.
   Then he realized that brick and boards were pressing down on every inch of his body.  Except for a peephole just above his eye, he was completely buried.
   "Uh, ow!"  He said, coming to full consciousness.  "Um...help?  Is there anyone out there?  Oww...Help!"
   A board was lifted away, revealing the rest of his face.  Jax blinked in the bright lights.  Wildweathel was standing over him.  "Hang on a second, Jax, we're gonna get you out of there!"
   "You found someone?" A voice out of Jax's line of vision called. 
   "Yes!"  Called Wild back.  "It's Jax!"
   "Is he okay?"
   "Um, I dunno.  Jax, are you okay?"
   "Well, apart from being buried up to my neck and my left leg throbbing in pain, I'm fine!  Hurry up!" Jax snapped, trying to pry his arms up.  It didn't work.
   Richard walked over.  "Hang on one moment, Jax."  Richard waved his hand, and all of the debris, bricks, and boards went flying off into a pile.
   Jax tottered to his...foot.  He didn't stand on the other one.  When Jax looked down at his left leg, he gave a groan and turned his face away, slightly green.  His left leg was badly broken.
   Badly broken, as in, bent the wrong way.
   "Urgh..." Wild said, turning away as well.  "Okay.  Let's get you to the hospital w..."  He trailed off and looked around.  Jax followed his gaze, and gasped.
   The hospital wing wasn't there.
   RAF wasn't there.
   RAF had turned into the piles of bricks and boards that was strewn on the ground. 

   Estelore stirred and peeled her face off the pavement.  A light rain was falling in her back as she sat up.  It was cold and uncomfortable. 
   Wait a minute...cold?
   How was a star cold?
   Este looked down at herself, and gasped.
   She wasn't even a star anymore.  She was a human.
   "Okay.  Okay.  Think Este.  Think.  Asimov's teeth.  Where am I?"
   Este looked around.  Decript buildings stood around her, their monotonous colors reflecting in the puddles forming below them.  The sky was dark, and rain was falling more heavily.
   "A city.  Okay.  A city.  But what city?  I need to stop talking to myself.  Geez."
   Este spotted a tall building a distance away.  It towered above everything else, and looked slightly less decript. 
   "Good lookout point.  Alright, I'll head there.  Go there, find a vantage point, see if I can see RAF.  And stop talking to myself."
   Estelore hauled herself to her feet and began to walk.

   Da Gumbster, or just Gumby, opened one eye.  He was laying on his back and looking up at a ceiling.  A cave, it looked like.  Rocks glistened, the rain on them shining faintly in the weak half-light.  Stalactites and stalagmites hung down from the ceiling and rose from the floor, sometimes meeting in the middle. 
   Gumby opened the other eye and stood up.  To his relief, his machine gun was lying on the floor next to him.  He picked it up and examined it.  No damage.  Then he fully took in his surroundings.
   Strange man-made cutouts, looking almost like crude chairs, jutted out from one wall.  On the other wall, there was a small hole, pitch-black now, because of the weather outside, that gave weak light.  The cave stretched back and dissapeared into darkness.  Out the mouth of the cave, wet fields, small trees, huts and houses here and there, and a crumbling city showed.
   Gumby's blood ran slightly cold as a passage from Revenge of the Banned drifted back to him.

To his right, the cave opened, giving a view of hills with a few scrubbly trees scattered across it.  There was a hut here and there, and in the distance was a run-down old city.  To the dragon's left, the cave disappeared into darkness.  In across from him was a small door hewn in the rock.  Blocky realized that what he was sitting on was cut out into a chair shape.  It was slightly uncomfortable because he was a dragon, but at least he wasn't lying on the floor.  With a chill, Blocky realized that other parts of the wall next to and across from him were cut in a chair shape.  More spaces for more RAFians?  He wondered.

   Was this the cave?  Gumby held the machine gun ready and peered about.  Nothing.  No sounds but the drip...drip...of rain falling from the top of the mouth of the cave to splatter on the rocks below.  He guessed the cave was uninhabited now.
   He ventured deeper, to where the cave grew more shadowy and echo-ey.  The magnified sound helped Gumby to hear something.  The steady rasp of breath, coming from somewhere on the floor.
   Gumby looked around, finger resting lightly on the trigger of his gun.  The sound of breath was deep and even.  Sleeping or unconscious, he guessed.  Gumby crept farther into the cave.  His footsteps echoed creepily in the stillness.  As he was about to step again, his foot hit something.
   The breathing faltered, and was punctuated by an "Uh?" Sound.  Something stirred.  "Uh, what?"  The voice said again.  Slight scrapings and shuffling noises told Gumby that this unknown person--or thing--was standing up.
   Gumby decided he would rather face this person--or thing--in the light.  He lunged forward, grabbing the shirt of the person--or thing.
   "Uh--waah!"  Yelped the voice.  "Ambush!"  Limbs flailed desperately, beating against Gumby vainly as he pulled the person--or thing--out of the darkness of the back of the cave so that the newcomer was in the light.  Gumby stood so that he was silhouetted against the light.  Let him get a look at this person--or thing--before the person--or thing--got a look at him.
   Gumby let go and backed away, raising his machine gun to point at the face of the newcomer.  Turned out to be a person.  Then, Gumby let the gun drop, his own jaw dropping in amazement.  The person turned out to be...
   "Taiyoh!" Said Gumby in a shocked voice.  "How did you get here?"
   Taiyoh stared at Gumby.  "H-h-how d-d-d'you know my RAF username?  Who are you?"
   Gumby stared at Taiyoh.  "It's me!  Gumby!  Can't you recognize me?"
   Taiyoh stared at Gumby.  "W-what?  Gumby is an Arbiter!  You're a human!"
   Gumby stared at Taiyoh.  "W-what?  I'm a human?  But...I'm an Arbiter!"
   Taiyoh stared at Gumby.  "You don't know your own species?"
   Gumby stared at Taiyoh.  "I was an Arbiter not five minute ago!  Wasn't I?"
   They stared at each other.  "How did you get here?"  They asked in unison.
   Taiyoh blinked several times, moistening his eyes from all the staring.  "You are Gumby, right?"  He asked.  "You're positively SURE that you're Gumby."
   Gumby frowned.  "I know who I am."
   Taiyoh shrugged.  "Just makin' sure.  Anyway, as to the how did you get here question, I dunno.  It was weird.  BAck at RAF...something happened...I really dunno."
   Gumby nodded.  "Jumbled pictures, white lights?"
   "AN ERROR HAS OCCURRED."
   "Blackout."
   "Yup.  Happened to mee too." Confirmed Taiyoh.  "Then next thing I know, I'm getting dragged out here and there's a gun waving in my face!"  He looked at Gumby accusingly.
   "Sorry," muttered Gumby.
   "Only question is, WHY was there jumbled pictures, white lights, words, and so on?  Why?"

And so, the title drop.  AN ERROR HAS OCCURRED!  As Taiyoh helpfully said though, WHY did all this happen?

Well, of course I know.  I'm the narrator. 

But, that's for you to find out.  As I tell.  So technically, I could leave you in the dark.  Mwahahaha.

But I won't do that. the next chapter will reveal more beleaguered RAFians, all in who-knows-where. 

But, more on all that later.
Most Insane Member/RAFian Writer 2010!

Thanks to Bear!
Blue is my WonderTwin, Myth, Blocky, Jess, Kayla, Demos, Tony are my siblings, Shorty is my cousin, Bear is my RAFsupercodetective! (Yeah awesome!)
RAFdating Ghostie! :D
:raftrophy: RAFian Writer and Most Insane Member 2011!

Offline Gaz

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Re: An Error Has Occurred! A sequel to Revenge of the Banned
« Reply #38 on: January 24, 2010, 02:36:41 PM »
Wow! Great part! Can't wait to read more!

Offline Cloak

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Re: An Error Has Occurred! A sequel to Revenge of the Banned
« Reply #39 on: January 24, 2010, 03:22:16 PM »
. . . You pegged Faith and Shadow, Horse.


Book 189: "Shenecron's Pets"
Chapter 4: "First Attempt"
(January 7, 2020)

RAFians Referenced Specifically: Demos.

Offline Blocky97

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Re: An Error Has Occurred! A sequel to Revenge of the Banned
« Reply #40 on: January 24, 2010, 04:01:15 PM »

something I don't understand
[spoiler]wait... so I'm still my own species?[/spoiler]

Offline Horsefan1023 (Seal)

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Re: An Error Has Occurred! A sequel to Revenge of the Banned
« Reply #41 on: January 24, 2010, 04:06:10 PM »
What don't you understand?

And, thanks, Cloak.  Maybe I'm secretly stalking them, watching them, finding out their personalities.   :P
Most Insane Member/RAFian Writer 2010!

Thanks to Bear!
Blue is my WonderTwin, Myth, Blocky, Jess, Kayla, Demos, Tony are my siblings, Shorty is my cousin, Bear is my RAFsupercodetective! (Yeah awesome!)
RAFdating Ghostie! :D
:raftrophy: RAFian Writer and Most Insane Member 2011!

Offline Darth Revan

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Re: An Error Has Occurred! A sequel to Revenge of the Banned
« Reply #42 on: January 24, 2010, 04:59:26 PM »
Great chapter!
RAFengaged to Midnight_Huntress


Offline Blocky97

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Re: An Error Has Occurred! A sequel to Revenge of the Banned
« Reply #43 on: January 24, 2010, 06:37:12 PM »
no, well...whatevs doesn't really matter

Offline Horsefan1023 (Seal)

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Re: An Error Has Occurred! A sequel to Revenge of the Banned
« Reply #44 on: January 24, 2010, 08:42:43 PM »
No, tell me, I'd be happy to clarify.

...and you've got me all curious.   :P
Most Insane Member/RAFian Writer 2010!

Thanks to Bear!
Blue is my WonderTwin, Myth, Blocky, Jess, Kayla, Demos, Tony are my siblings, Shorty is my cousin, Bear is my RAFsupercodetective! (Yeah awesome!)
RAFdating Ghostie! :D
:raftrophy: RAFian Writer and Most Insane Member 2011!