Attack of the Zombie Crickets!!!

[Estelore]

Okay, this will sound very weird and ridiculous, but it is a lot of fun, once it gets going. You know those *crickets*?
Well, this is what happens when the crickets attack. Just post what happens, inside *these*.


I'll start.


*crickets*

*STOMPS the crickets*

*crickets come back to life, as zombies*

*Pulls out sub-machine gun, starts blowing away crickets*

*crickets bring out their leader, the Grand Poohbah Cricket, with his tommy gun*

*STOMPS the GPCricket, takes the tommy gun*

*crickets pull out the big guns and start eating the brains of the townspeople*

*The Mummy rises from his crypt to lead the crickets to victory*

[Leonardodavinci]

do I continue, or start a new one? I'll continue.

*runs away from Mummy as fast as I can to the safehouse*

*Mummy finds the safehouse, and starts eating it.*

*Throws tabasco sause all over the inside of the safehouse, then curls up into a little ball and hides*

*Mummy sees the inside of the safehouse, licks the tabasco sause, then runs as fast as it can to the nearest fire hydrant.*

*gets up, and starts celebrating*

*crickets chirp again*

[Estelore]

(You can do whatever you want. Perhaps the Zombie Crickets are attacking in more than one place. Perhaps it is an invasion....)


*sees Leo, joins him in celebrating, which includes a Cossack Dance of Stomping Crickets*

*che-Deet che-Deet che-Deet che-DeSTOMP!!*

*one by one, crickets start to peel themselves off the floor*

*crickets begin their inexorable advance toward the door of the room where we are hiding*

[Leonardodavinci]

*does a Wilheim scream* (Did I spell that right?)

*picks up a bassoon, puts confetti into the basoon, and blows it at the crickets, trying to exorise their march (you said inexorable, so the contrary word is exorable)*

*basoon-blowing creates a tornado, and completely blows all the crickets away!*

*Tornado brings a house down upon us.* LOOK OUT ESTELORE!

*House crushes teh evil cricket of the east, and her shoes are now drenched in Tabaso Sauce*

Eww...

[Estelore]

(Hah! NICE! I LOVE BASSOONS!!!)

*Tobasco Sauce congeals into a slimy puddle, which rises up from the Earth and assumes the form of a humanoid creature...RICHARD SIMMONS!!! (Stolen from one of my posts in another thread)*

*Richard Simmons begins speaking*

*Es: covers ears in agony, falls to the ground*

*Barney the Dinosaur materializes three feet away, along with all the Teletubbies*

*Es: dies of sheer Anti-Awesomeness*

*is brought back to life by Chuck Norris, Mr. Rogers, and the Ninja Turtles, whose combined Awesomeness re-kills Es, leaving her paradoxically alive and dead at the same time*

*changes name to Shroedinger's Cat*

*ties buttered toast to self*

*jumps out window while the house explodes*

*fails to land on feet or butter-side down, spins, perpetual motion ensues*

*Someone comes along and removes the toast, allowing me to land on my feet*

*we run, with Barney in hot pursuit*

[Venom]

*sees leo and yells at him for not studying for exams*

*goes back to study for exams and notices that crickets stole the notes*

*chases crickets with a baseball bat covered in grease*

*slips on own bat*

[Leonardodavinci]

*continues running with crickets, noticing that they ALSO stole my computer.*

*while running, tells Shanker that I can't study as they stole my computer!!*

*curses myself for not writing anything down, doesn't notice the open manhole in front of me*

*falls into the manhole, crickets shut it and weld it down*

DAMN THESE THINGS!!!

[Estelore]

(I've created a monster! A loveable monster! Like if you were to interbreed Yoda, ET, and an Ewok. This is the result, invariably.)

*Runs up with an arc-welder, realises that she doesn't know how to use it, so pulls out the soldering iron instead, since she CAN use IT*

*Starts to remove the welds*

*gets trampled by Barney, who just got shot down by a Tie-Fighter*

*The Death Star explodes*

*Here on Earth, the shockwave shakes the manhole open*

*Es: falls in*

[Leonardodavinci]

*welcomes Estelore to the inside of the manhole*

*crickets watch us from above, and laugh*

*I pull out my rifle and pick them off, one at a time*

*Thunderclouds appear, and it starts raining vodka*

*barney gets drunk, falls down a cliff*

*I collect all the vodka I can... =D*

[Estelore]

*bursts into flames at the proximity of the Vodka, which is an amazingly combustible substance, and I'm just THAT HOT.  *

God-mod:

*Leo weeps at the loss of the Vodka*

End God-mod.

*to console him, Es pulls out a pint of rum and a fifth of scotch, apparently from nowhere*

*chugs the scotch, feels no effect, hands Leo the rum*

*walks down the tunnel, runs into Master Splinter, bows, keeps going, stomps lingering cricket*

*cricket zombifies and follows closely behind, spying*

[Leonardodavinci]

*drinks the rum, and instantly feels happy and upbeat.*

*follows Estelore*

*sees the zombie cricket, pulls out Gene Simmons' guitar, and bashes the cricket*

*cricket evaporates at the sheer electrical power of the rock*

*underground manhole explodes, and we find ourselves now looking at the sky*

*Starts singing Beatles songs, with the Crickets providing the harmony*

[Estelore]

*"Penny lane, there is a barber showing photographs of all the people...to know...hello!*

*...kicking Edgar Allen Poe...we are the eggmen, I am the walrus!...*

*Hey, Jude...sad song...be-e-e-ter..."*

*snaps out of it, kills the hypnotic crickets, crickets revive as zombies*

*Great Poohbah Cricket makes a new appearance*

[Venom]

*kills crickets*

*burns crickets so that they dont come back as crimson heads*

*shudders at the thought of crimson heads*

*sees crimson head crickets*

*runs as fast as possible*

*knocks into est and leo*

*we all tumble down a hill and land in the ocean*

[Leonardodavinci]

*starts swimming as fast as I can away from the seashore*

*MORE crickets come, take a tip from Darwin, and grow fins and shark teeth (thats why I dislike science   )

*eyes widen, and I grab onto the road-runners neck so I can get out of there more quickly*

[Estelore]

*gets the Heck outta' that water before it mutates ME, too*

*wonders what a crimson head is*

[Venom]

*gets out of the water with only a slight mutation*

*wipes head with tentacle*

*goes onto huge rant describing what a crimson head is showing resident evil to everyone*

*proceeds to find a rocket launcher and DESTROY the crickets*

*crickets*

[Estelore]

*che-Deet che-Deet che-Deet che-DeSTOMP!!!*

*wonders if we are trapped in an endless cycle of...nah, couldn't happen*

*Pulls out a grenade, seemingly out of nowhere, and chucks it at an imaginary creature*

*Bloo: Hey! What was THAT for?!*

[Leonardodavinci]

*runs up to Shanker, and tells him to use his science-whatso-magic thingy to make the crickets disappear into a vacuum or something*

*turns around, and realizes that I'm surrounded by crickets.*

*grabs a sword from my pocket and threatens the crickets* (because I'm just that cool)

[Estelore]

*turns into an Elf, straight outta' Tolkien, and starts firing arrows at amazing speeds into the cricket horde*

*starts counting cricket kills*

*41...48...57...*

*Wait...I don't have that many arrows, though....*

*What have I been shooting at the crickets?*

*"I am cinne-mon, I is da winna' mon!"*

*drops bow and runs away from the cereal commercial, brought to life*

*crickets follow in hot pursuit*

[Gaz]

In another location:

*Gaz42 is on RAF when she hears the chirping outside.*

*she decides to look outside to see what the weather is like*

*She opens the door and looks down on the porch*

*Sitting there is a cricket*

*Gaz42 looks down and says "Aw...a cricket."*

*Seconds later the cricket jumps up and tries to nibble on her shin."*

*"GAH! Get off!" She shakes her leg and notices she is surrounded by sinister looking crickets.*

*She steps on one, but it comes near her dragging itself by it's little stick legs. They chirp for backup!*

*Gaz42 hops on her bike and flees for her life, a cacophony of crunches follow under her wheels. As do zombi-fied crickets*