Author Topic: Surface Tension  (Read 3935 times)

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Offline Estelore

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Surface Tension
« on: February 27, 2009, 09:27:24 PM »
Hello, my dear. I bet you feel safe, cozy, so very secure in your little home, four walls and a roof surrounding you so protectively. I bet you could curl up right now with a good book, maybe a thriller, give yourself a good scare, and then sleep soundly tonight without fear.
Am I right so far?

Maybe if the story is frightening enough, if the monsters are big enough and bad enough, you'll stay awake a bit, imagining that that scratching noise is just the wind in the trees.
But deep down? You know none of that is real.

Right?

Werewolves, vampires, zombies, velociraptors, none of that happens in real life, so it can't hurt you. It can't touch you, really, and you like sometimes to let yourself feel afraid. Sometimes fear can feel good, that delicious little shiver down your spine.
Sometimes the monsters could be real... but you know that will never happen to you. You're too special.
Am I still right?

You're safe inside your little bubble, your little ego. You're the main character of your own life story, and you know that it's bound to turn out okay, even if the ending isn't perfectly happily-ever-after. You don't mind the future, because you're self-centred. That's okay. You're human. Just like every other person you'll meet in your lifetime, you're human.
Does that make you special, do you think?
Ahhh, but if YOU are special, then what about the other six billion people living inside their own little bubbles? Aren't they also the main characters of stories every bit as unique, original, special as yours?
What about the lady down the street... y'know, the weird one with all the cats? What about your next-door neighbour? What about your science teacher, or the sheriff, or the fire chief? They all seem harmless enough, right?

What happens, though, when those bubbles pop, or when they deflate? What happens when a mind breaks, with a bang or with a whimper?
What does it take to make a mind shatter?
To make it lose all its protective surface tension and collapse under the pressures of unendurable reality?

Well, that's when you get a real horror story.



This is where I enter the picture. I'm going to be your... tourguide... for lack of a less menacing term. I'm going to lead you on paths you don't want to walk through places you never wanted to see, and I'm not even going to promise that I'll bring you home safely. After all, what is fear worth, when there isn't really anything to fear?
Fear keeps you alive. Fear keeps all that nice, healthy surface tension in your little bubble...
but fear can break you, too.

I guess it's time for me to push your limits, my dear.


---

(from here, I intend to write a series of short, one-or-two-post fictions, but not tonight.)
« Last Edit: March 05, 2009, 04:41:45 PM by Estelore »
The universe is, instant by instant, re-created anew. There is, in truth, no Past, only a memory of the Past. Blink your eyes, and the world you see next did not exist when you closed them. The only appropriate state of the mind is surprise. The only appropriate state of the heart is joy. The sky you see now, you have never seen before. The perfect moment is now. Be glad of it.

-GNU Terry Pratchet, The Thief of Time

Offline Phoenix004

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Re: Surface Tension
« Reply #1 on: February 28, 2009, 02:30:54 PM »
Sounds interesting Este, albeit a little cryptic. Still, I;d like to see what you come up with.
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Offline Faerie Larka

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Re: Surface Tension
« Reply #2 on: February 28, 2009, 02:48:44 PM »
Ooh.  This sounds like an intriguing bit.  I'll be sure to follow it.
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Offline Estelore

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Re: Surface Tension
« Reply #3 on: March 05, 2009, 03:35:14 PM »
Quote
Sounds interesting Este, albeit a little cryptic. Still, I;d like to see what you come up with.
Quote
Ooh.  This sounds like an intriguing bit.  I'll be sure to follow it.
Thanks, Phoenix and Faerie. Cryptic I do not often, and I felt it'd be a nice change. I'm not in a place where I can stay online long, so I'll have to type the rest of the post later, but here's *perhaps* a starting place of one segment.
I freely admit that I am enjoying the sinister nature of all this.  ;D
---

It seems like every scary story is set in a tiny town in-the-middle-of-nowhere, and there is certainly a measure of creepiness to such lonely places, but I'm sorry to say, dear one, that we won't be visiting Jerusalem's Lot to-night, and Forks is the farthest thing in the world from the place we are headed.
Tonight we will be taking a tour of a city, a nice big, bustling place...

...the kind of place where a person could lose himself and never be missed.

It's not dark yet, outside this hotel lobby, which is probably a good thing. I wouldn't want to lose you in the crowds, my dear, and we have so very much to do this evening, so many things I want to show you! Here, now, leave your belongings, but bring your jacket. It's cold out here, my dear, and you mustn't let your shivering distract you.
Are you ready? Very good then, follow me, please.

It's the hour before the sun sets, and the sky is grey-blue, overcast. A frosty breeze makes you grateful you took my advice about the jacket. You're hoping this won't take very long. Walk with me four blocks east, two blocks north, but you don't know that. Our route is long and winding, and you don't think you'd recognize the landmarks, if there are any. Round this corner, take this side street, and here we are. Oh, yes, this is the right place, no doubt about it. This dark little alley is where the tour finally gets interesting.

Look, there! Yes, there, crouching in that shadow! Good, you see him, too. Don't worry, he can't see us, so you have absolutely nothing to frighten you right now.
Oh, what's this? He's not alone, is he? You see the young lady approaching? I'm glad you're so observant.
She's walking away from us, toward that apartment complex, and he's moving closer to her, so quietly. Let's follow them! You don't want to do that? Poppy****! Come on.

We're nowhere near the police department. I can tell you with certainty that neither of us is carrying a cellular phone. What's that? Oh, no. I took yours back in the hotel. I told you not to bring your belongings, and I meant it. I saw you try to pocket it. Tsk tsk tsk.

It's getting darker, now. She's only a few metres away from the front doors of the apartment, but there is no doorman, and she has paused to fish her keys out of her purse. He is there, waiting.

Stand here with me and watch what happens, why don't you? After all, you'll be lost without me, and you don't know what might happen if you get lost in these labyrinthine paths.
You want to go back to the hotel? Oh, but why? Cold? What a ridiculous excuse. Your jacket is warmer than mine, after all, and it isn't even raining yet. Oh, don't lie to me. You're not liking this, are you?

Oh, see how clever! He catches the door on the backswing, and she doesn't even hear. Listening to her mp3 player, I imagine. Hurry up, or we'll be locked out, and we mustn't miss this!

Ah, how very good of her to hold the elevator door for us! He's taking the stairs, which isn't a problem. He saw her room number on the key fob, and he saw it again when she picked up her mail from the box in the foyer. Room 3C, if I recall it correctly. Let's get off on the second floor, and we can follow him the rest of the way on the stairs. Otherwise we might miss something....

What is wrong, dear one? You beg me to take you home, back to the hotel, to just point you to the nearest bus stop, anything... you search frantically for a phone in the elevator, try madly to signal to the young woman that something is wrong, but I've pinned you by your shoulders to the wall, and she neither hears us nor sees us. Her eyes are on the numbers rolling across the door.
Ah, here's our stop!

Don't make me shove you in the presence of a lady. That would be rude of you.

Oh, excuse me, please. I'm going to leave you right here, and don't you move a muscle until I get back, okay? Thank you, dear one.
Oh, I know. It wouldn't be that hard for you to leave, really... why do you think I brought this chloroform, these handcuffs? You just stay here on this staircase, and I'll come detach you from the railings after I finish some business of my own.
Don't worry. We have all the time there is in the world.

Why are you shivering?
---
The universe is, instant by instant, re-created anew. There is, in truth, no Past, only a memory of the Past. Blink your eyes, and the world you see next did not exist when you closed them. The only appropriate state of the mind is surprise. The only appropriate state of the heart is joy. The sky you see now, you have never seen before. The perfect moment is now. Be glad of it.

-GNU Terry Pratchet, The Thief of Time

Offline Faerie Larka

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Re: Surface Tension
« Reply #4 on: March 05, 2009, 04:31:39 PM »
*is excited*

Awesome!  I want to go on a tour like this!
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Offline Estelore

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Re: Surface Tension
« Reply #5 on: March 05, 2009, 05:06:46 PM »
(Thanks, Faerie!)
---

Ah, there you are, right where I left you. Oh, dear me! Did I put on those cuffs too tight? Your fingers are blue! Here, let me help you with that. Mercy me, it has grown chill in this stairwell.
What's that? The screaming? Oh, that's nothing to worry your pretty little head. I just had to tie up a couple loose ends, that's all. I'll probably tie up one more loose end before the moon rises, but there's no need to bother over that right now. Our friends are sleeping quite pleasantly, and it's time for us to be on our way.

I hope you don't mind me leaving your hands cuffed together like this. It's just a little precaution, and I'm sure you can understand. You just can't trust anyone, nowadays. Tsk tsk tsk...

What happened to the lady, you ask? My dear, if your head weren't attached to your shoulders, I think it would simply roll away on its own! What, I wonder, did you think I meant when I said 'loose ends'?
Are you well, dear? There is rather a sick look on your face.
Oh, yes, you remember seeing the ropes hanging from my satchel as I walked away. You remember the knife, too. Well, the 'loose ends' may have been a euphemism, but the 'tying up' wasn't.
It really is a good thing I took your phone from you. I wouldn't want you to try anything stupid. The day is not yet gone, and we have more places to see!

You want to know what I did? Where I went, and what happened to him? To her?

Oh, I suppose, if you insist, I simply must show you. Come with me, this way, please.

It's not what you expected, is it? Oh, I'm sure you had some hope that I'd merely tied up these two.
What's that? You thought he was going to try to hurt her? You thought I was here to show you that?
Oh, how very silly!! What a thought!
This is the city, my dear. Every person has half a million neighbours within the space of a few blocks. These two unfortunate souls happen to live in the same apartment building, yet they barely recognize each other, and the man only crouched in the alley to tie his shoes. 

Things are rarely what they seem, my dear, and you're about to learn that lesson the hard way.
Well, let's go.
Breathe deeply and please do not struggle. The drug works faster this way.







Oh, are you awake? Gooood. The sun has nearly vanished, and the skies are clearing just enough for the moon to become visible. Where are we? Why, we're in my motor home, naturally. Where else would we be? Please stop asking such ridiculous questions. I'll be right back, but I'll turn up the radio, and the music will keep you company.


"Your cheatin' heaaart will tell on youuuu.... This just in, a special news report: Another mutilated body was found yesterday in snnxxxxzz park near xxxxxzghhhhh shows signs of chhhhhxxxxzzzz and shhhhxxxzz uuughh rrrggh but police call the unnamed killer 'the tourguide', because sshhhszzz on planned tours and they don't come home alive. The victim remains unidentified, and her fingerprints appear to have been removed somehow."
---

(maybe more later)
The universe is, instant by instant, re-created anew. There is, in truth, no Past, only a memory of the Past. Blink your eyes, and the world you see next did not exist when you closed them. The only appropriate state of the mind is surprise. The only appropriate state of the heart is joy. The sky you see now, you have never seen before. The perfect moment is now. Be glad of it.

-GNU Terry Pratchet, The Thief of Time

Offline Faerie Larka

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Re: Surface Tension
« Reply #6 on: March 05, 2009, 05:10:00 PM »
Ah, intrigue!  The tourguide?  Hmmm...
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Offline goom

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Re: Surface Tension
« Reply #7 on: March 05, 2009, 05:27:38 PM »
amazing writing. haven't finished it, but it's great so far.

Offline Phoenix004

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Re: Surface Tension
« Reply #8 on: March 05, 2009, 09:35:52 PM »
Very intriguing Este. You're good with the cryptic style and your writing is very well done. It's not everyday you see someone who's skilled at what appears to 2nd person writing.
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Offline Estelore

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Re: Surface Tension
« Reply #9 on: March 05, 2009, 09:44:35 PM »
Awww, jeeze. *sheepish grin* Thanks, guys!

Opinion: Stop the first piece there and move to another segment, or add onto it?
The universe is, instant by instant, re-created anew. There is, in truth, no Past, only a memory of the Past. Blink your eyes, and the world you see next did not exist when you closed them. The only appropriate state of the mind is surprise. The only appropriate state of the heart is joy. The sky you see now, you have never seen before. The perfect moment is now. Be glad of it.

-GNU Terry Pratchet, The Thief of Time

Offline Taiyoh

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Re: Surface Tension
« Reply #10 on: March 05, 2009, 10:04:34 PM »
Opinion: Stop the first piece there and move to another segment, or add onto it?

Whichever you feel would best fit the story, of course.

Offline Phoenix004

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Re: Surface Tension
« Reply #11 on: March 05, 2009, 11:15:04 PM »
I think it's safe to say we'll all be confused and intrigued either way Este!
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Offline Estelore

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Re: Surface Tension
« Reply #12 on: March 06, 2009, 08:17:16 AM »
*chuckle*

1. Flattering. I don't usually approve of flattery, but I'll let y'all get away with it, 'cause I'm sleepy and my spine feels pleasantly similar to warm Jell-o. ;)
2. Well, jeeze, that was helpful.  ::) :D
3. Thanks, guys. Thank you so much for even reading it in the first place. :)
The universe is, instant by instant, re-created anew. There is, in truth, no Past, only a memory of the Past. Blink your eyes, and the world you see next did not exist when you closed them. The only appropriate state of the mind is surprise. The only appropriate state of the heart is joy. The sky you see now, you have never seen before. The perfect moment is now. Be glad of it.

-GNU Terry Pratchet, The Thief of Time

Offline Phoenix004

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Re: Surface Tension
« Reply #13 on: March 06, 2009, 09:46:00 AM »
Well I would like to know more about this segment before you move on, but switching to another might fit the theme of the story better.
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Re: Surface Tension
« Reply #14 on: March 06, 2009, 01:05:10 PM »
It's very good aloud. :]