Author Topic: School Day - Now Complete!  (Read 7616 times)

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Offline Slushie Man

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Re: School Day
« Reply #15 on: October 16, 2008, 11:10:57 AM »
Thanks for the kind words, people. It's nice to know people actually read this, lol. When I'm done posting this, I'll get to work on updating the sequel I had written for this back in 2000, and then I'll start posting that as well.

Offline Slushie Man

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Re: School Day
« Reply #16 on: October 17, 2008, 10:52:05 AM »
Curtis and Mark walked down a set of stairs and instantly saw Mike’s body by the elevator as soon as they reached the platform, and both reared back from the scene.

“Is this some kind of sick joke?” Mark asked, his voice cracking more then usual. Before Curtis had the chance to give his opinion on the scene, Grim Reaper jumped out from behind the stairs with a knife in hand, and rammed the knife through the back of Mark’s neck and out the front, a large amount of blood suddenly shooting across the platform.

Curtis stared dumbfounded for a second when Grim Reaper removed the knife, and saw that Mark was still alive. Mark clutched his neck as he stumbled across the platform, blood squirting out of the wound every time he tried to breathe, with more blood trickling from his wound and running down his shirt. Disgusted, Curtis backed away and then turned and ran down the stairs, almost tripping.
 
Mark fell over, finally dead. Grim Reaper turned and walked away in a different direction from the one that Curtis ran.

***

Dillon ran down a hallway and passed by the Office. He saw that the Janitor’s door was opened and walked inside, seeing Allison’s grade sheets on the floor. He heard the sound of approaching footsteps and quickly looked up.

They were getting closer.

He ran back out of the room and down the hall. He turned a corner and ran down that hall, passing by a room marked ‘Industrial Arts’ on the door.

***

Passing by the Office and janitor’s room once more, Jeff, Allison, and Danny turned off down another hall and after a couple minutes, neared the Industrial Arts room.

“What exactly is the plan?” Allison asked. “We can’t just keep running around aimlessly until the power comes back on.” Just at that moment Grim Reaper walked out from the nearby Industrial Arts room and pointed a finger at them.

In a muffled, hissy, whispered tone, he said, “Prepare yourselves for Death.”

“Running seems like a pretty damn good idea to me!” Jeff yelled in response to Allison’s previous comment, and the three rushed off once more.

In Grim Reaper’s gloved hand was a sharp circular blade that had been taken from the I.A. room’s only band saw. When he threw it, it didn’t take long to gain on the distance between Grim Reaper and the fleeing students, and impaled deep into the back of Danny’s head.

As he fell down dead, Jeff and Allison reached a point where the hall split off into two directions. Without stopping or hesitating to see which direction the other was going to go in, Allison ran one way while Jeff accidentally went the other.

***
   
Drew, Brad, and Jimmy stopped next to the Office to catch their breaths, and Drew looked over.

“Hey guys, I have an idea…” Drew trailed off as he walked into the office, the other two close behind him and wondering just what the heck he planned on doing.

As Drew rooted through the drawers behind the main desk, Jimmy picked up the phone, but got no dial tone. Drew came up from searching in the drawers with a set of keys dangling off his finger.

“We can use these to get into the gym and hide out until the power comes back on,” he explained. “Without keys of his own, there’s no way the killer can get through those doors. They’re metal and lock automatically when they close.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Jimmy stated, with Brad also agreeing by nodding his head. And so the trio headed back out into the halls.

***

Curtis ran down a hall faster then he’s ever ran before, and crashed right into another person. He let out a very high-pitched scream, but when he realized he was still alive, he stopped and looked. Thankfully the person he ran into was only Allison.

“That hurt, you big oaf!” Allison fumed as she painfully climbed back to her feet from being knocked over by Curtis. Then she added in a nicer tone, “I’m sorry. I’m on the edge of my nerves right now.”

“Where’s Jeff?” Curtis asked. “Did he ever find you?”

“We…we got separated.” Allison thought back to that moment, and then it suddenly hit her that if Grim Reaper wasn’t following her, then that meant he went after Jeff.

“Oh God,” she added in a whisper.

***   

Jeff ran into a big room that was designed much like a video store, with aisles of movies. Only none of these movies were for entertainment. All of the movies in the room were either educational videos or various movies used for the English courses, mostly based off famous books.

Jeff glanced behind himself to see if Grim Reaper had followed him, but there was no sign of the killer. When Jeff looked straight ahead again, he suddenly stopped in his tracks and didn’t dare breathe a single breath. Only centimetres away from his own face was Grim Reaper’s hood.

When Grim Reaper swung his scythe, Jeff ducked, just narrowly missing the blade. He turned and ran away down one of the many aisles. Part way down, Jeff switched and went down another aisle. He put his back up against the aisle, bending his knees so he was bent down close to the floor.

He must have known about another way in, Jeff thought to himself. After a few seconds, Jeff rose up slowly and peeked over the top of the aisle. He saw Grim Reaper walking towards the aisle that he was in.

Still bending down low, Jeff moved quickly over to another aisle, and then another, putting his back up to it, trying his best to hold his breath. He looked to the side and saw the shadow of the killer getting closer and closer.

 Crouching down still, Jeff ran over to a nearby fire extinguisher and removed it from the wall before rushing back to his previous spot. It wasn’t long before Grim Reaper appeared from around the corner and looked down at Jeff once he noticed his victim was there.
 
Jeff jumped to his feet and with a battle cry, slammed the extinguisher with as much might as he could muster, right into Grim Reaper’s gut, causing him to double over. Jeff then slammed the device up into Grim Reaper’s head, sending him reeling back and falling to the floor onto his back with a grunt.

Jeff dropped the extinguisher as he ran around the fallen body and out the room, slamming the door behind him.

Grim Reaper stood up once more and pushed over an aisle of movies in anger.

***

Curtis and Allison walked up to the main front doors and stopped by them. “We should stay here,” Curtis stated. “The second that the power comes back on, we can leave. Plus we aren’t pointlessly running around either. If the killer does show up, we can always run then.”

“We aren’t going to make it out of here alive,” Allison stated in a monotone voice as the realization dawned on her.

“Of course we…” Curtis stopped talking as his body straightened up. Wondering what the matter was, Allison turned to look at him and let out a short whimper. Blood trickled down from Curtis’ mouth, to meet with the growing blood stain on the front of his shirt. 

Curtis’ body crumpled to the floor and behind him stood Grim Reaper with his blood-covered scythe standing up straight in one hand.

“**** you!” Allison screamed at him, tears streaming down her face in turrets. Grim Reaper dropped the scythe sideways into both hands and swung at Allison. Allison backed up and tripped, causing her to fall down and the scythe blade to just miss her. She began to get up as the blade came down on her.

More out of instinct that actual fast reflexes, Allison pushed herself backwards at the last second before the scythe slammed into her flesh. However, even then she was still not completely fast enough and the sharp blade sliced down through her shoe and into her foot, pinning it to the floor. Allison emitted a deathly scream as the blade retracted up. Allison looked down painfully at her blood-stained shoe.

Grim Reaper raised the blade again, preparing for the final blow, but before he could swing down, Allison tripped him with her good foot and he fell down backwards.

While he was distracted, Allison stood up and limped away as fast as she could, trying her best to hold back her tears.

***

Jeff ran across a hall and over to a glass case built into the wall. Inside the case was a matching fire axe and water hose. He slammed his fist into the case and shattered the glass, but not without cutting his hand up pretty badly. Little flecks of glass stayed embedded in his skin, and the spots where the glass came loose were replaced by oozing droplets of blood.

Painfully, Jeff reached in and grabbed the cold metal handle of the axe, pulling the weapon out and grasping it in both hands.

“Yeah, that’s right! Come and get it!” Jeff shouted out as he raised the axe and slammed it against the floor. His voice echoed far down the empty hall.

***

Brad, Drew, and Jimmy had reached the gym and were now hiding in the darkness of one of the gym’s windowless changerooms. They sat on the wooden bench in silence, neither one really having anything to say. After all, what could they say after the day they’ve been having?

Suddenly in the silence, they heard the feint sound of a distant door being unlocked. “He’s coming!” Brad shouted as he jumped to his feet. “He’s going to find us in here and we’ll be trapped!”

“Settle the **** down,” Drew whispered at him. “It might just be Mr. Codarre.”

But Brad was too freaked out to listen. He took off running out of the changeroom.

Drew and Jimmy remained silent, not wanting to draw any attention to the room in case it wasn’t Mr. Codarre who had entered. They sat in more silence, listening to the footsteps steadily growing nearer.

The changeroom doors opened and Grim Reaper appeared in the doorway, Brad’s lifeless corpse stuck to the end of his scythe. Grim Reaper shook the body off and it crashed into a locker and toppled to the floor.

“****ing leave us alone already!” Jimmy shouted as he and Drew got to their feet and backed up, pulling the lockers down in front of them so that the lockers hit the other wall part-way down and remained as a barrier. Grim Reaper easily sliced his scythe through the cheap thin metal of one and then simply walked over the lowest parts of the rest, getting closer and closer to his victims.

He swung the scythe at Jimmy, instantly knocking him to the floor as the sharp hard blade slammed into and sliced through his soft body. Grim Reaper raised his scythe again and brought it down again. He did that over and over until he was satisfied that the body was dead.

By the time Grim Reaper was done however, Drew was gone.

***

Jeff was walking down a hall slowly, axe in hand, when Drew ran up to him from another adjacent hall.

“The killer’s back there!” Drew shouted. “In the gym!”

“I lost Allison. I need to find her,” Jeff stated to him.

“**** her! I want to find a way out of this hellhole! Come on!”

“I’m not leaving without her,” Jeff stood his ground. It was odd to him. Up until this crisis, Jeff didn’t realize that he had genuine feelings for Allison, but now that they had come to the surface, Jeff had to make sure that no harm came to her.

On the wall next to them was a window which revealed that it was pitch black outside, but that the snowstorm had died down to a light flurry fall. Drew glanced out the window, knowing that it would be impossible to break the double-panned plexi-glass as well as get through the wire mesh between the glass.

“We better find her quickly,” he stated, grinding his teeth.

***

Crying, Allison painfully limped down a hall, using the wall as support. She passed a plastic sign on the wall that had the word ‘Gym’ printed on it, along with an arrow pointed in the direction she was headed.

Suddenly Grim Reaper walked towards her from out of the darkness in front of her. She turned down a side hall and ran as quickly as she could with her bad foot, and then turned down yet another hall.

Grim Reaper walked quickly after her, easily gaining. Then all of a sudden, the hall lit up as the lights came back on and the power was restored. Grim Reaper paused and stopped on the spot, looking up at the lights, startled.

Allison’s face filled with relief as she moved around a corner and ran over to the elevator. She did not fail to notice Mike’s dead body or the blood streak on the doors, but knew she had to go on if she wanted to survive. She kicked his body out of the way and pressed the button on the wall. The doors opened right away and she looked behind her to see Grim Reaper practically running around the corner with his scythe tightly in his grasp.

Allison got into the elevator and when the door was just about to fully close, Grim Reaper slammed his hand inside and allowed the door to touch the back of his hand, making the door automatically open again.

Allison punched him in the head, knocking him back several feet. The door closed safely and Allison quickly pressed the button for the basement, planning on hiding out as she knew she could not outrun the killer with her injured foot.

***

Jeff and Drew were running down a hall near the entrance doors, but stopped when the lights came back on, temporarily blinding them as their eyes adjusted.

Drew smiled the hugest smile he could muster. “****in’ A!” he shouted. “We can leave!”

“Go ahead if you want,” Jeff said. “But I’m staying until I find Allison.”

Drew couldn’t believe his friend! He pointed to the entrance doors not far away. “But…but just a few more steps and we can leave and be safe from this ****in’ killer!”

“If we leave now, the killer can come back after us at any time,” Jeff argued. “I don’t know about you, but I’d rather stay and see closure to it now.”

“How the hell are we supposed to take him on?”

Jeff pointed to his head, “We’re smart.” Then he pointed to the axe. “And I’m not afraid to do what must be done.”

Drew sighed, giving in. “Let’s finish this.”

Jeff and Drew ran back off down the hall, away from the doors; away from freedom.

Offline Gaz

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Re: School Day
« Reply #17 on: October 17, 2008, 12:02:07 PM »
Wow! Very gripping, I must say. And very appropriate with Halloween coming up too. Can't wait to see more.

Offline Slushie Man

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Re: School Day
« Reply #18 on: October 18, 2008, 11:17:21 AM »
In the basement of the school, Allison ran past dozens of boxes and equipment towards the back of the room. There was a dinging sound which caused Allison to look back just as the elevator door opened and Grim Reaper walked out.

Allison turned back around and continued to limp past boxes, trying to put as much distance between herself and the killer. On her way however, she tripped on a loose object on the floor and fell down. She swung her hands out to break her fall, but when they touched the floor, they landed in something warm and wet.

She looked down with disgust and saw that she had fallen onto a pile of fresh intestines. She felt something warm dripping onto her head and moved a hand up to touch it. Moving her hand in front of her face, she saw that her fingers were covered in drops of blood.

Looking up, Allison saw her sister Savanna tied by rope, hanging upside down from the low roof, her stomach ripped open. All her insides that were still in her body were plainly visible. The rest was on the floor below Allison.

Allison screamed and quickly returned to her feet and limped to the back of the room as Grim Reaper got closer.

Allison reached the back wall and turned around to face her attacker. “Nowhere left to run,” Grim Reaper whispered in his muffled snake-like voice.

***
   
Jeff and Drew saw the elevator doors close far down the hall and ran as fast as they could over to them.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Drew asked as Jeff pushed the button and waited for the elevator to return.

“Either that was the killer,” Jeff answered, “Or a survivor. Either way we need to go down there.”

***

Down in the basement, Grim Reaper shoved a heavy box on top of Allison, pinning her to the floor.

   “Who the **** are you?” Allison shouted with tears filling her eyes. Grim Reaper ignored her and raised his scythe, preparing to slam it down on Allison and finally end her life. The little **** was being far more trouble then she was worth.

“Stop!” Jeff’s voice rang out. Grim Reaper turned around, seeing Jeff with the axe in hand and Drew rushing off the elevator.

“Why don’t you pick on someone more your own size, you filthy coward!” Drew shouted.

“Fine by me,” Grim Reaper replied. He ran at Drew while Jeff dodged around the killer. On his way over to push the box off of Allison, while dodging around Grim Reaper, Jeff swung his axe by, but Grim Reaper ducked, however not quite enough as the axe caught the top of the hood and yanked it back, to reveal Dillon.

Dillon swung the scythe in a forward arc over his head while still running, digging it deep into the top of Drew’s head. He removed the scythe with a sickening sucking sound and as Drew’s lifeless body fell. Dillon angrily turned to look at Jeff helping Allison up.

“Come on Allison, you’ve got to move faster,” Jeff pleaded. But that was before he looked down and noticed the blood-stained shoe on her foot. Dillon walked over and when Jeff turned to look at him, punched Jeff in the face, sending him toppling back and sending the axe flying from his grasp. Dillon shoved Allison up against the closest wall.

“Why the **** are you doing this?” Jeff asked as he regained his composure. “What the hell did we ever do to you that makes us deserve this?”

Dillon sneered. At first he wasn’t going to tell them his reasoning, but then figured that they at least deserved to know why they were about to die. “I recently discovered the reason why I was adopted,” he began. “My original parents already had another child. Their last name was Landry. Yes, that child was Jen. Apparently they didn’t want a second child when they already had one perfect kid, and so they gave me up for adoption.

“My original target was only her, but it turned out that Jen also knew and had told Savanna. It would have been far too easy for her to link me to the murder, so I had to take care of that. Jeff gave me the idea to dress up as Grim Reaper with his most recent story. I figured if anything, that would point towards him as being the main suspect and leave me free to go.

“Then when the power went out and trapped us all in here, I realized it was a perfect chance to carry out my plan, however there were far too many potential witnesses and people who could make the connection, so I had to take care of everyone else as well. I decided to do the murders in the exact same way they were killed in Jeff’s story. More evidence to point towards him as the killer.

“Jeff, I know about your feelings towards Allison – Hell, everyone does - which is why I’m going to make you watch her die before I kill you.”

“You’re insane!” Allison screamed at Dillon.

“Well duh,” Dillon replied darkly. “I thought that was obvious by now.”

Dillon reared the scythe back, but before he could swing, Jeff shouted out, “Hey Dillon!” from behind him. When Dillon turned, he saw Jeff picking the axe back up. “You talk way too much. I was about ready to fall asleep over here.”

Yelling with rage, Dillon charged at Jeff.  Allison stuck her foot out and tripped Dillon, causing him to fall to the floor and his scythe to fly from his hands and slide across the floor. Jeff continued to run towards him.

Once Jeff reached Dillon, he swung the axe down, but Dillon rolled away right before it connected with him. He kept rolling until he bumped into a box, which stopped him from moving any further.

Dillon screamed as Jeff slammed the axe down before he could move away, cutting it into his chest. As blood formed along the edge of the axe, seeping up from the deep wound, Jeff removed the blood-soaked axe from Dillon’s chest and dropped it to the floor. He stumbled back, in a state of shock over actually killing another person, despite the fact that the reasons were good.

Allison limped over to him and used Jeff’s shoulder as support. She looked down at Dillon’s body. “Is he dead?” she asked.

“I promise you, he most definitely is,” Jeff replied.

***

Later that night - actually more like the wee hours of the morning - the snow had stopped falling and settled on covering the ground in a thick blanket of whiteness. The school parking lot was filled with police cars and ambulances, lights flashing and reflecting off many surfaces.

Allison sat on the back of an ambulance, her foot bandaged up with Jeff standing in front of her.

“I hate hospitals,” Allison rolled her eyes with a smile.

“You need to get that foot looked after,” Jeff reminded her. They looked at each other in silence for a moment, the cool air not affecting either of them. Suddenly Allison jumped off of the back of the ambulance, onto her good foot, and leaned up against Jeff. She raised her mouth to his and they kissed.

Three police officers walked over and waited patiently for them to stop kissing. One of them cleared his throat loudly and Jeff and Allison parted lips. They turned to look at the cops.

“Just for clarification,” the lead cop spoke, “how many bodies did you say were in the basement of the school?”

“Three,” Jeff repeated from his earlier statement.

“Huh,” The cop breathed out. “Now that is mighty odd. We can only find two.”     

Jeff and Allison glanced at each other and shared a look of dread. “Show me,” Jeff said coldly, holding back his fear.

***

The three police officers led Jeff down into the basement and kept pace with him as he anxiously rushed across the room.

Jeff arrived at the spot where Dillon’s body had been, but all that remained was a puddle of blood. The body, scythe, and axe were all missing. 

“****,” Jeff whispered as he rushed back outside.

***

Jeff ran out of the school, through the knee-high snow, and over to where Allison was once-again sitting on the ambulance.

“It’s true,” Jeff informed her, not even trying to keep the fear from showing in his voice. “Dillon’s gone.”

“I wonder if that means there’s going to be more,” Allison said. “Or maybe he’ll just give up.”

“Truthfully, I think there’s going to be a lot more.”

Before they could further their conversation anymore, A medic came around to the back. “Time to load you up, miss,” he stated as he jumped into the back and helped Allison up.

“I’ll be there shortly,” Jeff called in to her. “The police still have a few questions to ask.”

Allison smiled at Jeff before the doors closed. As the ambulance drove off, Jeff turned around and stared at the wind blowing the nearby trees. He looked into the night as the wind blew across his face, wondering if Dillon was watching him at that very second.

In case he was, Jeff yelled, “Next time, Dillon! Next time, you’re ****ing dead!” before turning around and approaching the Police Captain to finish his questioning.


The End

Offline Champion

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Re: School Day - Now Complete!
« Reply #19 on: October 18, 2008, 02:15:56 PM »
AWSOME!!! Make a movie!

Offline Gaz

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Re: School Day - Now Complete!
« Reply #20 on: October 18, 2008, 08:46:05 PM »
That was an awesome twist at the end! Very cool, I enjoyed this.  ;D

Offline Slushie Man

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Re: School Day - Now Complete!
« Reply #21 on: October 19, 2008, 12:07:33 AM »
Stay tuned for School Day 2, where Grim Reaper returns to get his revenge on Jeff and Allison while they're in University. But is it really the return of Dillon, or a copycat killer? I guess you'll have to read it to find out...

Offline V2113

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Re: School Day - Now Complete!
« Reply #22 on: October 19, 2008, 12:33:11 AM »
Sweeeet! Yay, two people lived. Hooray! You should make a movie. I can actually imagine this as a movie.
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Re: School Day - Now Complete!
« Reply #23 on: October 19, 2008, 01:50:24 AM »
Sweeeet! Yay, two people lived. Hooray! You should make a movie. I can actually imagine this as a movie.

exactomundo! i could actually imagine this as a really big blockbuster hit... i reckon that it would be a hit cos of the type of story.... thriller/horror movies are really big now... just look at the saw movies... also, for it to be a movie, you'd have ta change the chars names, unless u wanna pay the pplz it's based off royalties..


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Offline Slushie Man

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Re: School Day - Now Complete!
« Reply #24 on: October 19, 2008, 10:22:30 AM »
All I'd have to do is during the end credits put 'Any Names, places, and situations that happen to be real is just a coincidence and are fictional' disclaimer, lol.

But nah, making a movie is WAY more work then I'm willing to put into it, lol. I almost did a super-low budget version back in high school for a film project, but I couldn't find a school, not even mine, that would allow me to use it for filming, due to the subject matter of underage teens being murdered. So I just went with a documentary on paranormal activity and various ghost legends from around the town, lol.

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Re: School Day - Now Complete!
« Reply #25 on: October 19, 2008, 10:46:47 AM »
Praise for School Day from other sites:

"Great story. When you publish this, let us know." - Jason Bourne of Dan's JP3 Page

"A great addition. Though one thing that sticks out during the original (I can see what you meant by being an older piece of writing) When being chased, none of the characters are confused of where to turn or go - which is kinda weird considering it's a new school and all. But its a great story." - Troodontid of Dan's JP3 Page

"I had heard a lot about this series so I was intrigued to read it. When I finally got around to it I found it a very fast paced and gripping tale. Description isn’t too important; the setting is a place we all have been to - school, and we can imagine it to suit our backgrounds. Perhaps it would have made a better movie script then a story but that’s a minor quibble. The story itself is excellent with many characters seeming just like people I know! The Grim Reaper was a great idea and comes off with some good kills though they do get a bit repetitive towards the end. With tighter writing, more deaths and greater plot emphasis this would have got top marks. As it is I give it a rating of Three Hooks out of Five." - Scarecrow_Cenobite of The Hellbound Web

"It takes a while for it to get going, but once it does, it's terrific." - Stalker_fd of Horror Fanfiction Archive

"One of the best factors of this story is definitely the setting, a new and seemingly cold high-tech school, and the atmosphere generated by it. They give the story an edge, but the rest of it isn’t much different from your average horror movie. It’s got the barely there plot and a few too many clichés, but it’s still a good read if you’ve got some time to kill (no pun intended)." - Screamer of Horror Fanfiction Archive

"“Write what you know” is probably the phrase that triggered Jeff Long’s “School Day”. The reason I’m saying this is because the situation is very realistic (sans the killing). I am willing to bet that at least some of these characters and their traits are based off of actual people, including Jeff. Jeff is our hero in this macabre, fast paced story about a killer who strikes in an empty school during a snowstorm. I think something that hooked me in from the get-go was that I could relate to a lot of the situations. I remember in my freshman year of high school the meaningless conversations and threats of social upheaval. Jeff uses this element very well in this story, especially with the dialog. The technicalities aren’t as well set up as the entertainment value, and I think that’s something that could improve on, but overall I really enjoyed it! It was something that when I first read it, I couldn’t stop reading. Albeit, it was predictable, but paced so well that before you could say “Attack of the Pre-teen Menace” the Grim Reaper has struck again. I didn’t find it hard to adjust to the lack of description in the story, because I just pictured my high school with the necessary adjustments - yet another element that Jeff pulls off (though I’m not sure if it was intentional or not). I think Jeff’s greatest accomplishment at the end of the story is that you will look forward to reading School Day 2." - X of Horror Fanfiction Archive

"A good script full of scares and good times. I like most of the death scenes and Mr. Hovland was a great touch. The script had a good story line and kept you guessing about the killers Identity until the very end. 7 out of 10." - TB of Horror Fanfiction Archive