Bad Animorphs Summaries

[MoppingBear]

Anyone seen bad/uncomfortable summaries people do for various stories?  Let's do them for Animorphs!  Whether it's the whole series or a single book.  For example:

A geeky teenage gamer plays chess with Sauron for control of the universe.

[DinosaurNothlit]

-Five kids try to juggle schoolwork with extracurricular activities.

-One alien's lifelong quest to consume every food ever made.

-Six morphing superheroes shift into battle forms to fight bad guys.  Wait, it's not Power Rangers, I swear!

-A hostile alien takeover is temporarily obstructed by vast quantities of mood-altering oatmeal.

This is fun!    And is it just me, or is anybody else picturing newspaper headlines when they think about summaries like these?

[Kitulean]

2 volumes chronicling the astounding and earthshattering battles against the mighty Helmacron Invasion... and the 50+ filler books spaced around them. 


Some Blind Chick masquerades (poorly) as the older version of the totally awesome and kickass heroine from an earlier book. Her son clearly notices and pretends she doesn't exist later.

[Tim Bruening]

Invasion of the Body Snatchers!

[MoppingBear]

A kids life is turned upside down when he discovers an alien artifact.  Soon after, he starts being pursued by various aliens and a a group of shape-shifting humans all after the technology.  Will he get out of this with his mind and body intact?

[TobiasMasonPark]

     Animorphs 46: The Test:

     Tobias grows boobs and things explode. Also, Taxxons.

[MoppingBear]

#17 The Underground:
A 164 page advertisement for Quaker Oats.

#26 The Attack:
Jake defeats an extremely dangerous alien species with his kisses.

[Snakie]

#13 The Change:

Obi Won Kenobi helps a talking bird rescue a couple of snake headed salad shooters, then at the end lets the bird pet himself as a human.

#5 The Predator

The heartwarming tale of a boy who is reunited with his mother and a group of teenagers who learn the true meaning of community.... in an anthill.

#11 The Forgotten

Book? What book?

#10 The Android

Yeerks get wasted by robo-puppy, Animorphs feel bad.

[NateSean]

Book 16:

From zero space to cyber space, a journey of a thousand miles to face their latest enemy could be delayed if Tobias gets too pooped.

[Duff]

5 Kids disobey their parents one time and the world literally ends.

The Sharing, a humanitarian, community outreach organization, is continuously vandalized by a group of teenagers.

Kevin James is a down on his luck zookeeper who just can't seem to keep kids from jumping into cages with wild animals.

And how I describe animorphs when I want someone to read it: "It's meant for kids but it's full of really bloody battles between tigers and gorillas and aliens. Throats being ripped out, guts being held in, pretty graphic stuff."

[Tim Bruening]

The Reaction: Troubled teen girl jumps into crocodile pit.

The Revelation: Scientist makes earth shattering discovery, gets chased by aliens.

[warren_bearclaw]

Books 20 - 21

The outsider kid gets rejected by his new 'friends'. Now he really has nobody.

[SmartGirl333]

VISSER: a half-flashback half-chamber-play extravaganza about a slug that ran off to Earth and snorted coke

[redtailedsaffa]

The Hork-Bajir Chronicles: Avatar without humans

[Jdorsey314]

-five idiot teenagers with a death wish defend the earth from parasitic invaders.

-Grades drop, alien invasion reducing study time is a possible explanation.

-an unfortunate discovery: when romeo and juliet are not same species, death is not even necessary to cause greif.

-mature honorable honest leader, sherlock resembling joker, shopping impaired tree hugger, partly psycho semi vegetarian undercover samuri warrior alligator generator, and bird, defend earth.