Richard's Animorphs Forum
Animorphs Section => Animorphs Fan Fiction & Art => Topic started by: Phoenix004 on July 02, 2008, 06:59:36 AM
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Well I don't know about the rest of you, but I prefer my story threads to be read without too many interruptions. My old story thread on RAF Classic ended up about 30 pages long, but a lot of that was comments and people telling me to hurry up and post! ;D
So anyway, I've started this thread so that anyone who wants to comment on any of the stories here doesn't have to clog up the story threads with comments. Just post anything you want to say here instead!
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Great Idea Mike :)
Well I told you I read your fanfic last night, great stuff
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Thanks Claire, looking forward to seeing more of your fic too!
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sorry about the phoenix. I forgot. ok, about your fanfic (animorphs travels)...phone numbers have six digits?
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lol, nice to see you're picking up on the important details. Brain-stealing alien slugs being attacked my kids who can turn into animals? That's fine. A 6 digit phone number? Now that's just unrealistic! ::)
Well I don't know how your phone numbers work, but my home number is 6 digits (not counting the area code). I know that the fic is set in America (albeit a fictional version of America being invaded by alien slugs) but I am English and it's my fic so the characters can have whatever phone number they want. :P It's not like it affects the story at all.
So, besides 6 digit phone numbers, what do you think of the story so far?
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well once cassie wrote a fake phone number that was 8 digits long...and marco's reaction was...well basically he said cassie is not a good spy.
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well once cassie wrote a fake phone number that was 8 digits long...and marco's reaction was...well basically he said cassie is not a good spy.
I agree with him. Everybody knows that phone numbers are only 6 digits! ;)
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I'm pretty sure he thought she was a bad spy because she wrote 12345678...
I'm enjoying Claire's a lot. It's funny.
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my point is what's wrong with reacting to a possible wrong phone number.
and here in america it's seven digits
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my point is what's wrong with reacting to a possible wrong phone number.
and here in america it's seven digits
Are you implying that I arranged for the fictional equivalent of myself to be fake-numbered by a hot girl? ... Why didn't I think of that?! ;D
How many digits is it in China?
And yes, Claire's fic rules all and is better than mine by default because the main characters have super powers! 8)
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And yes, Claire's fic rules all and is better than mine by default because the main characters have super powers! 8)
Thanks, you made my day, Mike :P
And thanks Ken, I'm really glad you're all liking it!
(Sorry I had to do this... but... Phone numbers here have 8 digits.
Heres a random phone number from here. 8262 4522 for example.)
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Are you implying that I arranged for the fictional equivalent of myself to be fake-numbered by a hot girl? ... Why didn't I think of that?! ;D
How many digits is it in China?
no clue what you said
china...I have no clue. I have honestly never used the phone since I went to china. in america it's 7.
my old house phone number...I think...822-9213
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My old house number: 493-7529.
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My cell number is...a series of numbers I do not want to reveal...
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I think cell numbers are different from house numbers...or my parents bought their cell phones somewhere outside america. cuz my parents cell numbers are like 10 digits
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Cell numbers are the same here, I think. I don't have a home number though.
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Cell numbers are longer than home numbers here.
Back on topic a little, I have a question for you guys that is relevant to my fic (assuming any of you are reading it). My character now has a whole weekend to wait before the Animorphs meet up on Monday and discuss Jake finding the Yeerk Pool. I have a few ideas of what he can do in that time, such as testing morphs out, but I want to know what you guys think.
So, if you were in the Animorphs universe with the morphing power and 2 days to kill, what would you do?
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test what morphs? the only other morph he has is homer. and he said in book 1 he didn't practise the lizard morph.
besides, wasn't this book in your point of view? or did you switch to jake now?
Me? I guess I'd try to relax, after all, it's soon going to be nightmare from hell. I'm going to grab every chance I have to relax.
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test what morphs? the only other morph he has is homer. and he said in book 1 he didn't practise the lizard morph.
besides, wasn't this book in your point of view? or did you switch to jake now?
Me? I guess I'd try to relax, after all, it's soon going to be nightmare from hell. I'm going to grab every chance I have to relax.
Hahaha! I'm talking about MY character! Not Jake! ::)
Doesn't matter now anyway, I've got an idea. And I also realised that he only has one day to relax, but that just makes it easier for me.
If you guys like my fic, then I may decide to continue it after the first book is over. I have some plot lines in mind of my own creation, but most of them will be my own version of the original books.
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I have a few ideas of what he can do in that time, such as testing morphs out, but I want to know what you guys think.
you said what he could do. and I said he couldn't have been testing morphs out.
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I have a few ideas of what he can do in that time, such as testing morphs out, but I want to know what you guys think.
you said what he could do. and I said he couldn't have been testing morphs out.
NOT JAKE! My character, Mike. He can test morphs out all he wants.
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well it can get a bit confusing since you wrote jake last. because of that, I assumed it was Jake.
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Couple of questions regarding my fic "Animorphs Enter the Beast Wars" for those that have read it.
Someone on fanfic.net pointed out to me that the Animorphs, at least Jake and Marco, should be familiar with the concept of the Transformers since Animorphs takes place in a realistic Earth universe. Should I go back and edit that into the meeting of the 2 groups? Should the names like Optimus and Megatron spark something in Marco's head?
I'm a little unsure of how to handle this and how the characters would react. Would that new and clear understanding of who the good guys and bad guys are change anything? Or would the Animorphs still be on edge as I've had them the whole time?
The second question is, and this has been mulling in the back of my head for a while, is anyone else of the opinion that the Animorphs teamed up with the Maximals too fast and without good reason? This happens in Part 5. It takes place near the end of that part, so you could go check that out and let me know. I mean, if it were just the Yeerks, I could see the Animorphs turning down the Maximals flat. However, would the Animorphs really charge out against the Yeerks and a group of unknown robots minus their fearless leader?
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Well the story is about Mike, so I thought it was obvious. Sorry if I confused you.
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Cool fic so far, Mike. I'm really enjoying it. It's one of the few "Fan gets pulled into the Animorphs universe" stories that I actually liked. There are so many of them, sometimes I just feel like I'm reading the same thing over and over again. But this one was different. I like how you added Mike as an addition to the group early in the fic, rather than just having him meet up with the Animorphs later on, like most people do.
I think you did a great job with the writing. You used a lot of voice, which I like. Mike is very realistic and believable. He isn't one of those characters that acts one way, then acts completely different two chapters later. Though it isn't the kind that has me on the edge of my seat begging for more, the writing is gripping. At this point, I'm curious. I want to see what happens next. I'm wondering what little twists and changes you have planned.
So, yeah. Great job, Mike. You are going to continue, right?
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Thanks Charlie, it's not often I get an in-depth, honest review. Yes I know the idea of an OC ending up in the Animorphs world isn't a brand new idea (although when I started it I had barely seen any) but I'm glad you like it. One of the ways I try to keep realistic is by doing the same thing that gave me the idea in the first place: imagine what I would do if I were there.
I was 13 when I originally started the story, which is why Mike is 13 (and because I felt he should be the same age as the Animorphs). I wrote a few notes, including some basic plans of what other books to include Mike in (obviously I wasn't going to re-write the whole series from Mike's POV) as well as some of my own plot ideas that were never in the Animorphs series.
I've abandoned this story (and later continued it again) many times. This time round I am definitely going to finish part 1 (book 1) but since I have other stories and my RP to work on, I'm not sure about doing more of it after part 1. If you guys like it and I can fit it in between my other work, then I might continue it.
Thanks again for your comments. :)
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Ah, I know what you mean. To be honest, I don't think I've ever finished a fanfic, or any piece of writing that wasn't a school assignment, for that matter. So, I understand if you have other things to work on. I also understand if it takes you awhile to get to the end. Glad to hear you'll at least finish part one. Until then, I'll be waiting for the next chapter. :)
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To be honest, I've never finished any story before, fanfic or not (I'm not counting short stories I was forced to write at school). As I plan on becoming a published writer one day, that will have to change! :P
The next chapter should be fun, as it's a brand new chapter that was never in the original version. In the old version, I went straight onto Jake calling a meeting on the Monday to discuss what he'd found at school in his Green Anole morph.This time I figured I should give Mike a day to himself, so you'll see what he gets up to once I post the next chapter. Not sure when that will be, but hopefully it won't take too long.
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Couple of questions regarding my fic "Animorphs Enter the Beast Wars" for those that have read it.
Someone on fanfic.net pointed out to me that the Animorphs, at least Jake and Marco, should be familiar with the concept of the Transformers since Animorphs takes place in a realistic Earth universe. Should I go back and edit that into the meeting of the 2 groups? Should the names like Optimus and Megatron spark something in Marco's head?
I'm a little unsure of how to handle this and how the characters would react. Would that new and clear understanding of who the good guys and bad guys are change anything? Or would the Animorphs still be on edge as I've had them the whole time?
The second question is, and this has been mulling in the back of my head for a while, is anyone else of the opinion that the Animorphs teamed up with the Maximals too fast and without good reason? This happens in Part 5. It takes place near the end of that part, so you could go check that out and let me know. I mean, if it were just the Yeerks, I could see the Animorphs turning down the Maximals flat. However, would the Animorphs really charge out against the Yeerks and a group of unknown robots minus their fearless leader?
the first question, you can make it that they can't be sure they really are the transformers. it could all be a yeerk trap.
second question, I'm not sure.
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For the Beast Wars fic, I think you should maybe keep it to the Animorphs not knowing what they are. I don't think Transformers were ever mentioned in the book, so you can pretend that the TV show doesn't exist in the Animorphs universe. 'Cause otherwise, wouldn't it be a bit odd, that there's a fictional TV show that's COMPLETELY accurate? It breaks the fourth wall a bit too much for my own taste.
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Also, not all television shows are aired in all states. We got Beast Wars in Illinois for one season, but two states over, they got it for several years running, and another state never had it.
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For the Beast Wars fic, I think you should maybe keep it to the Animorphs not knowing what they are. I don't think Transformers were ever mentioned in the book, so you can pretend that the TV show doesn't exist in the Animorphs universe. 'Cause otherwise, wouldn't it be a bit odd, that there's a fictional TV show that's COMPLETELY accurate? It breaks the fourth wall a bit too much for my own taste.
That makes sense and is a good argument for why not to bring that up. That's sort of what I was thinking but couldn't really find the words to say it.
I can see the person's point of view where in the real world that would make sense. But then again Animorphs, while realistically based, isn't the real world. I think I can use creative license and alter things a little. Cuz, while it makes sense to have the Animorphs recognize the Maximals and Preds as something off Transformers, it complicates things a whole bunch.
Maybe I can play it off as an affect of the explosive transport? Even if it does exist in their world, when they transport to the alternate universe they have no knowledge of it because the 2 realities don't co-exist or something like that. Not sure that made any sense.....
Or I'll elude to it and have Marco make an off comment like "This seems like some sort of TV show."
Also, not all television shows are aired in all states. We got Beast Wars in Illinois for one season, but two states over, they got it for several years running, and another state never had it
There ya go. That covers that! :-D
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I've had a fanfic going 4 while but nobody seems interested in it. Oh well ;D(thinking: Ya'll suck!!!!!!!! :fighting0071: :mad12: :sad49: :sylar: :sylar2:)
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like your latest update phoenix.
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Wow, Mike, you updated. Do you know how many writers I've seen that don't update their fanfics? *nudges... certain people* :P
Pretty good chapter. Looks like Mike's got a girl problem and a Yeerk problem. Now I'm wondering how this will affect the events that should take place later on. Well, anyway, good job. Can't wait for the nxt chapter. :)
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can't wait for the next book
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Thanks you two! I'm glad you liked the new chapter! :)
Yeah some of you already know what happens to Erika, because of what is in the original version. Just to keep you on your toes, I will tell you that it may change. I have planned for Mike to have a love interest, but I won't say if it's Erika or not...
There's a good chance that I will continue the story after book 1. I made plans for some original story lines, but I also want to include Mike's version of other books in the series. Obviously I can't do all of them, so if you have any suggestions for books I should definitely do, just let me know.
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there's no proof yet that erika's the same girl that was in the original version. it could be a completely different person. and the thing on monday could be a complete coincidence.
I'd like to see #49. he has no family, so what would he do to help the others.
also like to see the david trilogy. obviously he knows what happens with david and will vote against. making it a tie until jake votes.
also the last book. where would mike be? on the blade ship helping rachel? maybe.
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With David, I suggest you kick him and run for it :D
By the way, loving your fic, and I can't wait for the next one.
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Thanks for the input guys. Erika is the same girl as in the original version, I just said that she won't necessarily turn out the same way.
If I ever get that far, I will definitely be doing the David Saga. Like you said, Mike voting no will make it a tie until Jake votes. This means that if Jake (or one of the others) changes their vote, then all that trouble with David would never happen. You'll just have to wait and see what I have planned, although I like the "kick him and run" idea! ;D
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also wanna see #32 just for this reason.
jake said he wanted send at least two animorphs to each truck. that means they don't need either rachel with them. so how does that work?
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Maybe I could... kick her and run? :P
Not even sure if I'd want to do book 32 or not. If I end up writing the whole Animorphs Travels series, then I'll have to cut out a lot of the books that aren't necessary to the main plot line (unless it's a fun book that I really want to write!)
I just posted another chapter by the way, hope you guys like it.
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oh yeah, I do.
not so much about the battle morph you chose for him, but hey, it's your fanfic.
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Maybe I could... kick her and run? :P
Hahahaha made me crack up, nice one.
I was happy to see an update with your fic, nice job :)
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Splee! More quick updates. Good, good.
Yay, things are starting to get exciting. Or, well, they were exciting. I bet they'll be even more exciting at the end. Anyway, another great chapter. I'm looking forward to the scene where Mike tells the Animorphs his secret. >:D
One question, sorry if you already answered, I don't remember: Have you completed the fic? Or did you get close and finally decide to finish?
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Thanks for the comments guys! :)
No I haven't finished the fic, sadly. I originally started it about 6 years ago, but I kept going off it and then going back to it over the years. I almost finished part 1 (book 1) of the fic, but now I'm posting the edited version (my writing has improved in the last 6 years). I'm going to finish part 1, and I may continue it after that if I feel like it (and people like it).
By the way Charlie, I love the quotes in your sig, really funny! ;D
*adds the superpowers quote as MSN message*
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Thought I would be random and post up a few teasers of what's to come for Animorphs Enter the Beast Wars:
*Jake and Optimus will finally meet face to face. Can they work together or will their leadership styles clash?
*Black Arachnia and Tarantulas learn that there is much more to the Time Machine than meets the eye. (yes, I did just say that and no...it's not a robot in disguise.)
*Visser Three is running out of options (and Controllers). Where will he turn to next?
*Megatron has been pretty passive, will he make a move?
These questions (and possibly more) to be answered in upcoming parts of Animorphs Enter the Beast Wars! *insert dramatic music here*
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I really like animorphjakes story. I have a fanfic up, but no reply. oh well, it's no problem. *smiles fakely, slowly reaching for gun while thoughts must be censored, so they will be diplayed in the up-coming symbols. :explode: :explode: :explode: :explode: :explode: :explode: :explode: :fighting0056: :drunk: :drunk: :sylar3: :sylar3: :sylar3: :sylar3: :sylar3: :sylar2: :sylar2: :sylar2: :sylar2: :sylar2: :sylar2: :sad49: :sad49: :fighting0071: :fighting0071: :fighting0071: :fighting0071:*
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I'd like to know what people currently think of Chronicles of an Andalite Spy. I got some good feedback at first, and the topic views are rising, but I'd like some more opinions of it.
I've been thinking about my three main characters, and wondering what kind of personalities I should give them. I haven't really made a decision on that, as I have focused mostly on action. However, I do want to flesh them out, and make them seem more real. I'd like to get some opinions on what kind of people Prince Mutaro, Claxter, and Foosal should be.
I'm almost done with the Book One finale, and will be putting it out tomorrow. I plan to give some teasers about Book Two at the end of Chapter Five.
I'd like to have fan comments to help me shape the series, so people keep reading. That's what I think a good author should do with any work they publicize.
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As I'm sure... none of you are aware, my Animorphs Travels fanfic has been posted on Fanfiction.net for a while now. I posted it ages ago and have since improved the story and I want to repost the modified chapters on FF.net. Everything was going well until I remembered the problem I had last time. For some reason, FF.net won't let me use the thought speech symbols (< and >) in my fic. Does anybody know why this is and/or how to fix it? Failing that, does any have any suggestions for symbols to use instead that FF.net will accept?
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ff.net doesn't like < and >. You have to come up with a way around it. Possible suggestions are double parenthesis and italics, but as long as it doesn't seem incredibly awkward you can do whatever.
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Damn, I was afraid of that. I already posted the updates on FF.net, but I guess I'll have to go through them again later and add in my replacement thought speech marks.
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I use «these», but I don't know how to do them on a windows computer.
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As I'm sure... none of you are aware, my Animorphs Travels fanfic has been posted on Fanfiction.net for a while now. I posted it ages ago and have since improved the story and I want to repost the modified chapters on FF.net. Everything was going well until I remembered the problem I had last time. For some reason, FF.net won't let me use the thought speech symbols (< and >) in my fic. Does anybody know why this is and/or how to fix it? Failing that, does any have any suggestions for symbols to use instead that FF.net will accept?
Seeing as I don't go there, I certainly didn't know. Not that I have anything against them, but can you just post it here too?
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I think it's because you can use html to write them or something...
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Seeing as I don't go there, I certainly didn't know. Not that I have anything against them, but can you just post it here too?
It is on here. In fact, it's more up to date on here than it is on fanfiction.net.
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Oh. I haven't really been looking at much here besides whether not not the views are going up for my thread. That's the only way I can tell that people still like what I'm writing.
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I wouldn't take the lack of comments personally. I imagine some people just can't be bothered posting comments sometimes, even if they like the stories they read. I've been kinda busy the past week, but I'll try to read through your fic when I get the chance.
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Yeah. Like, I could take it personally that my one chapter of un-beta-read, unrevised, Doctor Who/Animorphs crossover is getting more reviews than my polished, better written, multi-chapter Pemalite Chronicles, but I'm also fully aware that Doctor Who is awesome and therefore attracks a bigger audience. Thus, no bitterness. (Well, not much bitterness)
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haha that happened to me too, my pride and joy story got like a tenth of the reviews as some comedic one shot i wrote in 5 minutes lol And im actually pissed that it got reviews cause it doesnt deserve it as much lol
If it makes you feel better ive never read your doctor who fic haha
But if im thinking of the same pemalite chronicle story then it is awesome
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There was another Pemalite Chronicles on Old!RAF, so you could be thinking of the other one. Mine's currently unfinished. It's on, like, the last page.
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yea i hunted it down and no it wasnt the one i was thinking of lol sorry, but i will def read it when i get the chance, which will hopefully be tomorrow
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Mike:
THANK GOD YOU FINALLY UPDATED!!!
lol
like it, although I am surprised tobias wasn't a hawk when jake arrived. I wonder what happened that caused that...
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Heh, glad you liked it. Part of the reason it took longer than expected was because I've been taking apart the old chapters, editing in new parts and deleting the crap stuff. It probably takes longer than writing a chapter from scratch! :P
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really? I imagined it'd be easier. could create more mistakes, but easier. oh well that's just me.
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THANK YOU!!! ;D
It's about time you updated. Not to rush you, of course. A long-awaited chapter is better than a crappy and poorly written one.
GAH! Cliffhanger. :P This is starting to pick up again. I'm really excited to find out what happens. Wondering if Mike will make a mistake, screw everything up, and end up getting everyone in serious trouble. Not that it would be a bad thing if he did. >:D
Spelling and grammar are good, as far as I can see. Then again, I sort of skimmed over the whole thing. You probably didn't ask to have the chapter dissected, though. :P
Anyway, great work again. I'll be watching for the next chapter, whenever it comes out. :D
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If you want to dissect it then I don't mind. Criticism is fine as long as it's constructive and not just mindless flaming. Feel free to point out any dumb mistakes though, as I can correct those!
For those of you who read the original version, we are finally approaching brand new territory. The next chapter might not contain anything new, but the one after it definitely will. And remember, the outcome might be different this time...
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Nice chapter mike, I can't wait to see what happens next!
Ah I saw one spelling mistake? I think so anyways, sceptical, I thought it was skeptical? But anyways I have no idea..
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oooh quick update. nice.
well that wasn't unexected, erika being a controller I mean. although a voluntary one, that was unexpected...
not that it matters, but the bold words are actually done in italic in the books.
anyway, keep it up.
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OMFG!!! i love the update mike! plz keep it comin'!
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um..just to say since I quit RAF I wont be updating my fan fics anymore so um anyone can update em if they want
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Excellent chapter Mike. Great fight scene!
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uh...erika's yeerk was currently in the pool. remember erika was in the voluntary controller area (with the sofas and tv).
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uh...erika's yeerk was currently in the pool. remember erika was in the voluntary controller area (with the sofas and tv).
right, of course. i edited my original post
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Thanks guys! Glad you like it! I'm definitely considering writing more of Mike's adventures now! :)
I'm doing pretty well on my next chapter, but I'm going to try and space out my posting a little so that I don't post everything too quickly. I'll probably post this chapter once I've written some of the next one. Shouldn't be too long hopefully!
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So does the fanfiction we post here HAVE to be Animorphs-related, or can it be any stories/scripts we've written? Cause I have LOADS of scripts, stories, and fanfiction I wouldn't mind posting over time (Not all at once, obviously), but none of it is Animorph's-related.
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just out of curiosity, does anybody besides the people actually in omaas read my fic? and if so, whats your opinion on it
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While we're at it, I'd like to know if anyone but Anna reads my poetry, and if any of those readers read any poems beyond the ones for/about them?
What do you think of them?
By the by, I DO welcome comments IN my poetry thread.
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i do and i like it
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Ah. Thanks. :)
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I kind of like it. I've never watched 24 before, but if it's anything like this, I'll possibly like it. Can't wait for the next chapter.
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Has anyone read my fanficÉ
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ok, this is getting interesting. Too bad Tobias is trapped again. I'm especially interested at that last line. Did Mike just admit something he shouldn't have?
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Oh so just because Tobias didn't make it out you assume he's trapped as a hawk? Well I guess you'll find out in the next chapter... ;)
If you're talking about the rules the Ellimist gave him, then Mike is allowed to tell the Animorphs who he is. However, he is not allowed to give away any direct information about the future of the series. Mike is mainly reluctant to tell them because they will probably think he's crazy.
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he did sort of. He just said tobias is gonna be trapped as a hawk, although he didn't morph until later on. Depending on how late he was in the real series, I guess he could make it out, but that would change a whole lot of the story.
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That wasn't him giving away information about the future, that was him telling them what was happening to Tobias at that moment. If he'd told them all that Tobias was going to be trapped before they went in, then that would be breaking the rules.
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Awesome chapter Mike! Well worth the wait!
I can not wait for the next post, post it now! :P haha
I really wanna know what happens next!
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speaking of which, claire, when are you going to post the next chapter?
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Anyone who was reading my fic A Morphing of Reality on the old RAF, it's been transferred to here now.... minus and reviews because I just wanted to preserve the chapters.
Anyone who hadn't read it previously the idea is this: The books exist, but so does the threat of the yeerk war. The main characters both know and acknowledge the existence of the yeerks and have read the books and acknowledge the existence of them. It's still unknown to them whether the books were a warning or a way to make someone telling people about the threat less likely to believe it.
The idea I'll admit came from my friends and I imagining the books were real during our middle school days. Then again, we probably weren't the only Animorphs fans to do that.
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Yays, Mike! I was at school today thinking "I really wish Mike would post another chapter." My wish was fulfilled! Love the new chapter.
On another note, I discovered that DinosaurNothlit is still updating her fics on ff.net, so if you want to read them, they're still there.
And, Estelore, in English class today, there was information written on the board from a different class about sestinas.
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That's because I have a mind reading spy in your class who detected your wish and relayed it to me... ;)
Glad you liked it, I had some trouble trying to guess the Animorphs reactions, but I think I did okay.
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I told you on msn, Mike, but great post!
I really wanna find out what happens to Tobias!
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mike, dude, i loved it! plz keep the fan fic coming!
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Thanks guys! I'm trying to put off posting the final chapter for a few days until I can figure out my plan for part 2. I'm almost definitely going to skip #2 and #3, as I can't really think of anything significant for Mike to change. I have to do #4 of course since that's when we meet Ax (and it's a cool book), but I'm still lacking a few ideas on how to proceed.
I am considering taking a break from Animorphs Travels for a while so I can work on other things, but it depends on how I feel in the next couple of days.
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hurry up! i need my fix
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Sorry the next part of Animorphs Enter the Beast Wars is taking sooo long. Homework has been keeping me busy. (speaking of which, I should be doing some right now)
Will do my best to maybe get a part up this weekend.
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Yays! You posted, Mike! I'm surprised it took that long to realize that they saved two people. I knew it right away. Can't wait for part two!
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:'( Tobias is still a hawk. :'( :'( Even though I knew that couldn't be changed still :'( :'(. But other than that little detail :'( :'( GREAT STORY!!!!
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Wow. Love the story Phoenix, have any plans for another one?
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Sorry to all Tobias fans, but I have two perfectly good reasons for keeping him trapped. Firstly, I didn't want Mike to be too perfect. He's only human after all and we all make mistakes. I wanted to keep it as realistic as possible, not have him swoop in to save the day all the time. I wanted his first big mission not to be a complete success so that he wouldn't get over confident. Secondly, think of all the key moments in the series that would be completely screwed up by Tobias remaining human. It's a major part of the plot of the series and something that I didn't really think I could change even if I wanted to.
Wow. Love the story Phoenix, have any plans for another one?
If you'd read some of the comments I'd made previously, then you'd know that I have always been planning to make a series out of this. I've had some trouble figuring out exactly what I'm doing for Part Two, but I will almost certainly be doing one. However, I am going to be quite busy over the weekend and I have work Monday so I probably won't get a chance to seriously work on it until Tuesday. I'm still considering taking a break from Animorphs Travels for a while, but I'm not sure yet.
Thanks for the comments everyone! :)
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That was great! Short but sweet. haha.
I want mooooooooore! :)
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Grr, I need to read the last three or four chapters. But I will. I will, now that it's finished.
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Thanks to everyone who commented on my story. I can hardly believe I actually finished it! ;D It's now all posted in fanfiction.net too.
I'm not sure when I will be posting Part Two, but keep an eye out for it. If anyone has any ideas for future plotlines, feel free to let me know and I'll consider them.
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I don't want to be rude, but...Can I have some feedback for the ELF?
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to Zombies R Us:
i really like what u have started with on the two new fan-fics u have started... i really like where the Morphs of the Old Republic one is going, and i wanna see where the other one is gonna head as well... plz keep 'em coming!
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I promise you...another Animorphs Enter the Beast Wars part is forthcoming. I've gotten most of it written. I just need the time to finish it.
I'll try to make up for all the long pauses between previous parts over Christmas break next week. I'll have nothing school related to worry about for 3 weeks. That will be nice.
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Glad to see you're starting this again. And interesting how you skipped to book 4.
One thing, I thought wolves had great night vision. or at the very least, better than human vision...
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Yahoo! Now I can look forward to this again. Always loved this series, and I can't wait for it to continue.
Thanks, but I;d appreciate it if you could post in this thread in future, or just PM me any comments you have. My original story thread got clogged up with comments so I want to make sure the chapters are easy to find for new readers. Thank you.
Glad to see you're starting this again. And interesting how you skipped to book 4.
One thing, I thought wolves had great night vision. or at the very least, better than human vision...
I took a break from the series for Nano Wrimo, but that's over now. And I skipped to book 4 because I don't see 2 or 3 as being very important to the story. I know there was the truck ship in book 3, but I couldn't think of any good ideas for it. Besides, like I'm ever going to finish the series if I write EVERY book? :P
I have heard about wolves having good night vision, which surpised me since dogs are said to have very bad vision, so I assumed that wolves operated using smell and hearing rather than sight. I'll do some research into this and edit my post as appropriate when I have the chance.
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I have heard about wolves having good night vision, which surpised me since dogs are said to have very bad vision, so I assumed that wolves operated using smell and hearing rather than sight. I'll do some research into this and edit my post as appropriate when I have the chance.
Morfowt is correct on the wolf's night vision. They have a reflective retina, called a tapetum that enhances their night vision, even though they can't see colors. Their sight is mostly motion based. I'm actually researching on gray wolves myself at the moment, as it's a large part of the current story I'm working on...
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Yeah I've just been doing some research of my own. I actually wrote this chapter over a month ago and have heard from more than one person since that wolves apparently have good night vision. I got it wrong initially based on how dog sight is described in the Animorphs books, but looking at a few websites it seems that more recent-ish test have shown that dogs can see a number of colours and have decent night vision, particularly in terms of detecting movement.
So yeah, I was wrong and I'll edit my post as soon as I have the time. Thank you for pointing it out.
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I have edited my first chapter slightly due to my mistake with the wolf eyesight thing, and I've now added the first chapter of my new fic to fanfiction.net. Also, I will be adding the second chapter shortly.
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i just started reading it mike, its awesome, i read all of it in one go, cant wait for the next chapter
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Thanks Shanker, glad you like it.
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Just read it, and loved it, especially the ending.
I think you made a mistake though:
“So you think it’s just a coincidence that Cassie and Tobias just happened to have identical dreams at the exact same time?” I asked, interrupting him before he could start his rant about a variety of weird dreams he’d been having.
“Well since you know everything and you clearly think there’s something to this, I’m guessing there is something going on and the end will result will be the six of us screaming and running for our lives?” Mike asked.
“You know I can’t tell you.” I said with a knowing smile.
aren't you supposed to be Mike, or is there another Mike?
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he obviously meant marco, its a typo
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Yeah it was just a typo, my bad. Thanks for telling me.
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he obviously meant marco, its a typo
is there a difference between mistake and typo?
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Yay, you started the second one. :D Nice job, Mike. You did good with the introduction and quick summary at the beginning, and I really liked Mike's plan to scare away the fox. Off to read the next chapter. :)
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Thanks Charlie! You made good timing as I literally just posted a new chapter!
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Been following your story for a time now, Phoenix... Great chapter!
You're doing a great job in weaving in your character into the original plot.
he obviously meant marco, its a typo
is there a difference between mistake and typo?
Typo just falls under the category of "mistake's" definition. It's defined as more of a mechanical error in the printing, rather than a human made error in the writing
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Thanks Drkchaos, I'm glad you like it! :)
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At this last chapter I couldn't help but think....
[youtube]ojydNb3Lrrs[/youtube]
LYRICS (altered to fit the scenario)
So long and thanks for all the fish
So sad that it should come to this
We know what's happening oh dear.
We may not share your intellect
Which might explain our disrespect
For all the trouble that
you are going through
So long, so long and thanks
for all the fish
The world's about to be destroyed
There's no point getting all annoyed
Lie back and let the planet dissolve around you
Despite those nets of tuna fleets
We thought that most of you were sweet
Especially tiny tots and your
pregnant women
So long, so long, so long, so long, so long
So long, so long, so long, so long, so long
So long, so long and thanks
for all the fish
If I had just one last wish,
I would like a tasty fish
If we could just change one thing
We would all have learnt to sing
Come one and all
animorphs and animal
side by side in life's great DNA pool!
oooooooooooo
ahhhhhhhhhhh
So long, so long, so long, so long, so long
So long, so long, so long, so long, so long
So long, so long and thanks
for all the fish
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Awesome! Somebody actually got the Hitchhiker's Guide reference! ;D
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Wait, so it wasn't me just being a wacko? Cool.
This is sad. I'm 11 and I'm the only one who gets this. Sad.
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Yeah it is a little. Those are great books. I only read the first two though.
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I didn't read the books yet, but I saw the movie and did I laugh!!!!
Nice fic by the way. I really like it.
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The book is better than the movie, but the movie was still funny.
Thanks, I'm glad you like it. I'll probably be posting the next chapter soon, but I want to try and write as much as I can between chapters so that I don't get behind.
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Hey, do you have any idea when the next one's going to be out? I was just wondering, don't mean to pressure you or anything like that.
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Hey, do you have any idea when the next one's going to be out? I was just wondering, don't mean to pressure you or anything like that.
Who me? Sorry I'm taking so long, I'm working on it, but I have other things to keep me busy so I haven't had as much time to work on it as I thought I would. I was planning to work on it now since I'm pulling an all-nighter, but I've mostly been talking to people for ages and I might not have time now.
After I get home tomorrow and have an afternoon nap, I'll get to work on this chapter. It's half done already so shouldn't take too long...
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All right, cool. :) Take as much time as you need. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
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he obviously meant marco, its a typo
is there a difference between mistake and typo?
well, a typo is a mistake, but a mistake isn't always a typo.
a mistake could be like a KASU, for example, but a typo is just a spelling or typographical error.
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well, yeah, but it's still a mistake...
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Hey Phoenix! GREAT story, man, thanks for letting me know about it! You've got another faithful subscriber.
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Thanks Soldier, that means a lot to me. And in answer to what you said in the other thread about being a ghost writer, I'm very flattered but I doubt they would have hired an 8 year old! (That's about how old I was when they first used a ghost writer).
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Thanks Soldier, that means a lot to me. And in answer to what you said in the other thread about being a ghost writer, I'm very flattered but I doubt they would have hired an 8 year old! (That's about how old I was when they first used a ghost writer).
Lol, I see.
Well, I must say that you've got me addicted, Animorphs Travels is like a drug for me, kinda hard to quit.
..............So when can I get my next hit? lol.
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Ha ha, I'm flattered man! Have you actually read all of #1 and the start of #2 already then?
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Ha ha, I'm flattered man! Have you actually read all of #1 and the start of #2 already then?
Absolutely, I'm hooked man. Seriously!
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Well I should be posting the next chapter pretty soon. I had a mental block for a while but I've been working on the fic again the last few days. Seeing comments from you guys really helps. I'll be sure to post ASAP!
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hey mike, it's awesome that you got over your writers block... i can't wait to see what the next chapter will bring!
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[spoiler]It will mostly bring awesome Dolphins, mean Sharks and telepathic Whales! ;) [/spoiler]
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woo yeah!
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[spoiler]It will mostly bring awesome Dolphins, mean Sharks and telepathic Whales! ;) [/spoiler]
Sounds good to me
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Been too busy to finish the post today, will be posting tomorrow!
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you better... or else *shakes fist*
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@Mike
I have finished book 1 of Animorphs Travel and I can't help but love every moment of it. It's like relive the whole Animorphs experience to me (especially the waiting-for-new-book experience :D). You did a good job inserting your own character and idea into the original storyline while still keep it logical. You certainly put a lot of thinking on this one. I have never thought Mike would have to face problems such as not knowing where the school is or how Tobias looks like.
I really like the ending of book 1. Classic Animorphs ending: everytime they think the fight is worthless, there is always a consolation prize to keep them going.
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Thanks man! I really appreciate your comments! It really inspires me to write! :)
I know I said I'd have the next chapter posted by now, and I'm sorry it's not up yet. I could say that I've been busy with work, hanging out with friends and I've been ill the last day or two. All of those things are true, but honestly I've been having a bad few days trying to think of what to write next. I can't say for sure when the chapter will be up, except to say that it will be posted ASAP. I'm going to work on the fic shortly, and I'm probably going to be taking the day off work tomorrow so I should have time to work on it then.
Thank you all for being patient.
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It might be almost a week later than planned, but I have now posted a new chapter of Animorphs Travels #2. Sorry it's late, I just keep being distracted by life and writer's block lately, and I was ill for a few days (pretty much better now).
I did plan on the chapter being longer, but I really wanted to post something for you guys and I didn't want the next chapter to be too short. No promises on when the next chapter will be posted, but I will do it as soon as I can.
Anyway, hope you guys enjoy the new chapter, please let me know what you think! :)
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Oh gee finally Mike :P
haha it was worth it, nice chapter! :)
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Nice work Mike, I'm looking forward to seeing how the Mike will deal with the sharks.
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Ok, estrid. I apologize for the large amount of time it's taking me to post the last part. Spring break went by way to fast. I'll do my best to get it up this weekend. Though I also have to work on a 3 page essay due monday.
I have an idea of how it will all come together! (and I think I finally figured out what morph Visser 3 is gonna whip out) It's just a matter of finding the time to sit down and plug away.
Again...really sorry this is taking so long. But...life of a college student. What can ya do, right?
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I haven't worked on my fic in a while, mostly been working on my RP, but I'm starting to write more of my fic again so I don't get behind in it. I can't wait until some of the parts I have planned for later on, but I guess I have to get there first! Should be posting in the next few days.
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omg! mike, the update rocks! well worth the wait... keep it comin man!
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Can I have some feed back on my fan fic, please?
http://animorphsforum.com/forum/index.php/topic,481.0.html
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Thanks Terry, glad you liked it. :)
The basic idea behind it is interesting Gumby, but it might be a good idea to leave a line between paragraphs (including after each person talks) so that it's easier to read.
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Yeah, I know. I wrote it about a year ago, but never got around to editing it.
Yet.
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If anyone else wants to check it out, my fanfic Animorphs Enter the Beast Wars is finally complete!
Took me around a year to finish it.
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@Phoenix: I think letting Mike being bitten is a nice touch. It shows him that altering the future is unpredictable. The concept in this chapter is brilliant: Mike altered the story, saved Marco so he had to take his fate instead. It's like yin and yang. I think it would be cool if Mike took Jake's position in The Prisoner. It'll be fun to see how the Yeerk will react when he is exposed to Mike's knowledge of the future.
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@Phoenix: I think letting Mike being bitten is a nice touch. It shows him that altering the future is unpredictable. The concept in this chapter is brilliant: Mike altered the story, saved Marco so he had to take his fate instead. It's like yin and yang. I think it would be cool if Mike took Jake's position in The Prisoner. It'll be fun to see how the Yeerk will react when he is exposed to Mike's knowledge of the future.
Thanks, glad you liked it. In fact, that's pretty much exactly what I had in mind in terms of Mike's impact on the series. Altering timelines is unpredictable, if he changes something, then something else has to happen in its place. It's something you're likely to see more of if I continue the series.
The Prisoner? I assume you mean book 6? That was called The Capture here, maybe the name was different in your country. I've had a few people suggest doing that book, along with a variety of ideas to go with it. I won't spoil anything, but I will tell you that it's a book I've been looking forward to writing for a long time...
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Ah yes I meant The Capture. It's cool to know that you want to write it. Keep up the good work Mike.
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Yeah The Capture is one I've planned on writing since the start, I've got some cool ideas for that one. I'm probably going to be writing The Capture once I'm finished with The Message. As much as I like The Predator, I can't really think of anything to change in that one.
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Nice work on ani travels 2 phoenix, cant wait for next update.
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Thanks Gumby. I've written a decent amount of the next chapter already, but I don't know when I'll be updating as I don't want to post it as soon as it's finished. I'd like to try and get ahead of myself in chapters so that if I go through a bad Writer's Block again, I'll still have something to post.
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Just had an idea concerning my fic. I'm not too far off finishing the plot of #4 but I've currently got less than half the word count I had with the first story. So I came up with an idea: what if I merged #4 and #5 together? After Mike and the others rescue Ax and take him to the woods, I could go straight into the plot of #5.
This isn't confirmed yet, but I'd still like to here what my readers think of the idea. Should Animorphs Travels #2 consist of books 4 and 5? Or should I just stick with book 4 for this one and then go straight onto book 6 for Animorphs Travels #3?
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Skip book 5. That's what I'd do. I can't really remember what happens in that book anywho
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I'm not sure yet, but I think I probably will skip book 5 Claire. It's Marco's first book where they sneak into Chapman's house as Ants and meet Visser 1 (Marco's mum) for the first time. I really like this book, but I suppose that's because it was the first Animorphs book I ever read. It would be kind of a shame to skip it.
On the other hand, I REALLY want to write my version of book 6! I have some great ideas and it's one I've wanted to write since I first started the series. Besides, I can't think of what I'd change in book 5 anyway, so it makes sense to skip it.
So unless anybody really wants to see me write book 5, I'll go ahead and skip it. If anyone does want me to write book 5, feel free to send me a PM with possible plot ideas.
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Skip 5, go straight to 6. I like the idea of mike getting infested.
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Skip 5, go straight to 6. I like the idea of mike getting infested.
You're assuming that's what I have in mind. I actually have more than one idea in mind, although I'm leaning more towards one of them. You'll have to wait and see!
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UPDATE: I just posted the rest of my ELF fan fic, if you read, you'll notice i decided to put some more romance in this section.
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on my story about Korrinne i was thinking maybe i should skip most of the school days and his pranks and go straight to when he becomes an Aristh what do you think?
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who likes my rp in the hands of armageddon?
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hey I just posted a fanfic today. Let me know what you folks think!
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Hey, I definitely liked your fic. Had to sign up for an account just to continue reading it. I especially like how you set up Mike as a classic case of Mary Sue, but then break it down by having him fail to save Tobias. There are still some minor problems in it, but they can easily be chalked up to Mike not being as good at this as he thinks he is, for example, why didn't he think to grab the blue box from Elfangor so as to avoid the whole ordeal with David, and to be able to make more animorphs as needed, as he would know that Melissa would actually make a good member of the team based off of the Megamorphs book.
It's been a while since I have read book 5, but it probably is worth at least a chapter at the end of your book 4 fic, perhaps Mike suggesting something other than ant morphs, and it going smoothly.
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Hey, I definitely liked your fic. Had to sign up for an account just to continue reading it. I especially like how you set up Mike as a classic case of Mary Sue, but then break it down by having him fail to save Tobias. There are still some minor problems in it, but they can easily be chalked up to Mike not being as good at this as he thinks he is, for example, why didn't he think to grab the blue box from Elfangor so as to avoid the whole ordeal with David, and to be able to make more animorphs as needed, as he would know that Melissa would actually make a good member of the team based off of the Megamorphs book.
It's been a while since I have read book 5, but it probably is worth at least a chapter at the end of your book 4 fic, perhaps Mike suggesting something other than ant morphs, and it going smoothly.
Thanks man, always nice to get new comments! +1
lol, I actually didn't even know what a Mary Sue was when I first started the fic, I just spent too much time day dreaming about being an Animorph (I was only 13 at the time). I never intended for Mike to be perfect though, that's why I had him make mistakes, he's only human after all.
Not picking up the blue box from the construction site was deliberate, as I have yet to decide if I'm going to write the David Saga. I would like to, but Mike isn't stupid enough to forget a major event like that, so I'd need a good reason for why he doesn't do it, or why he might be unable to find the cube.
Thanks for the suggestion regarding book 5, I was actually considering adding a chapter at the end of 4 just to show Marco's reactions from an alternate view point. You make a good point about the Ant thing though, no idea what Mike could do there. The problem is that I want some of the bad stuff to still happen to add drama, but I don't want Mike to constantly fail or look like an idiot either, that's almost as bad as making him look perfect!
If you have any other comments or suggestions, feel free to PM me or post here again. :)
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maybe have him suggest morphing ants from the right colony? that would still cause issues as the termites did later on, but it would be better than what happened, especially because mikes being there could make it go a lot worse. if you only want to give it a chapter or two, it would probably be better for him to suggest a better morph. i dont remember the exact plot of the book though, so i dont know what it might be.
it would be pretty difficult to write, but you still can have mike fix most of the problems that happened in the series, but have new ones come up, because that is likely what would happen. have him palm the pamalite crystal so book 26 goes better? some other not as friendly chee might get their hands on it. stop rachel from getting split in half? whatever visser 3's plan in that book was will succeed, etc.
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I like the way you think man. Suggesting Ants from that colony would still be safer than what happened originally, even though it would have a similar problem to when they morphed Termites.
Suggesting a different morph entirely sounds good in theory,Mike won't want to mess up things to much. Even at the beginning of the series he knows that even small changes could dramatically affect the time-line. Rachel morphs an Ant while at the Yeerk Pool in #17 so what would happen if they never acquired Ants? Maybe she morphs something different and is caught because of it?
Mike could perhaps stop the problem they had with Ax at the mall earlier though, as I don't recall them ever using the Lobster morph again. That's probably just something I'd mention in passing though, as opposed to actually writing that section.
You practically read my mind! Mike's actions having unforeseen consequences will be a pretty important factor later on. It's much harder to do than just following the series like clockwork, but it's also much more fun for me, and hopefully for the readers too.
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i do like your idea about having Mike get infested instead of jake and seeing how the yeerk would react to so much future knowledge. the problem with that though, is that that knowledge would include the fact that it failed horribly in the books. also, then again, the animorphs probably do not know mike well enough to see him acting a little weird, and the yeerk might want to rely on that. if thats the case though, youd probably want a different yeerk than the one that was infesting tom, a minor change, but from what was shown in the books, tom's yeerks (both of them) were smarter than average, and would not risk it and just go straight to visser 3 with enough knowledge to take over the earth within a week.
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I won't comment on #6 because I may or may not have a surprise planned. I also may or may not be already using one or more of the ideas you suggested, lol.
Ideas are always welcome and if it's something I end up using that I hadn't thought of already, you will be credited for the idea when I write the fic. If you wish to discuss anything that would force be to discuss possible spoilers, please PM me.
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Uh...I have an idea for a story with a slight Dragonball universe crossover. They Animorphs meet a Saiyan. Not Goku or anything, an oc saiyan. I nerfed the Saiyains so that they are not overly powerful. She is about as strong as Goku was as a kid. Is this a good idea at all?
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I actually had a similar idea ages ago, so I think it could work. I imagine your idea is probably better thought out than my original one was.
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Uh...I have an idea for a story with a slight Dragonball universe crossover. They Animorphs meet a Saiyan. Not Goku or anything, an oc saiyan. I nerfed the Saiyains so that they are not overly powerful. She is about as strong as Goku was as a kid. Is this a good idea at all?
Can I give you a piece of advice? If you want to write it, then write it. You should always write because you want to not because other people want you to (that's just a bonus). Go ahead and write it.
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As you may have noticed, I've taken an extended absence from my writing. I intend to continue with my work, but I'm currently unsure if I should continue with my Animorphs Travels fic or concentrate on some of my other work.
This may not influence my decision, but I would like to know what you guys think. Should I continue my fic now or work on something else? Please bear in mind that if I don't continue my fic now it doesn't mean I won't in the future.
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Please Continue! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease!
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travels for sure
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Thanks guys, I'm definitely thinking about continuing it. I just kinda feel like there's not much to do with #4 but since it's the one where they find Ax I was compelled to write it. I mainly want to finish it so I can write #6...
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so just make it kinda short, lump 4 and 5 together, and then move on to 6. you could just have mike use knowledge to make the story a lot shorter.
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Wow, I peep back into this dinosaur of a forum after what, a year or two of abscence? Six years ago I joined (wasn't I called GaGs?) and you had Animorphs Travels fresh out of the box. Six years strong, like hell I'm going to see you lay off now. Phoenix, you better not set down fan fiction and forget to pick it back up, I mean, hell, I did, and now I've lost sight of that little spark it always kept for me.
Seriously, Richard, you're the man. All other forums die away, RAF goes on strong.
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Well I wouldn't exactly say it's been "going strong" for six years, but I see your point. Thanks GaGs. Nice to see you again old friend. :)
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****in' signature, by the way.
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Ha ha, thanks man. I made it myself! :)
... well I copy/pasted the letters/numbers in order and stuck the phoenix pic under it anyway! :P
You planning on sticking round? It'd be great to see you active again.
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Meh, my taste has moved on from Animorphs (don't worry, I still hold a special place for them), but I do still remember this forum from time to time. I'm sure you'll see me poke my head in and out for random intervals.
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Glad to hear it. I plan on continuing my fic in the near future, sooner if I don't compete in Nano Wrimo.
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why did noone continue in the ellimist chronicles?
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Well, I finally got around to reading Animorphs Travels. I like it! Much better than I was expecting, in fact.
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Thanks, glad to hear it. You read both of them?
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Yep! Read the second one first, because for some reason I thought I had already read the first. And then realised that no, I hadn't, and went back to read the firs for real. lol.
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about time lol. i had actually started my own insert fic while waiting, but didnt get too far into it.
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Really? Did you post it? I didn't see it.
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I haven't, I wanted to get a backlog so that when I started, I could post updates regularly even if I started slacking, but I never got past the introduction, in part because I was having trouble deciding exactly where in the series to drop him (before David) I'm thinking book 19 right now.
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Well if you every get round to posting it, let me know. Don't try to rush it though, these things take time.
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yeah my problem is, im good at storyboarding, making characters, and world building, but i kinda suck at actually writing scenes.
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Yeah it takes some practice to get used to. I'm still much better at imagining a story than I am at writing it, lol.
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love it, love it, love it!
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lol, if you meant my fic then thank you! :)
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'course i did ;D
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lol, thanks. :)
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Your fic is awesome Mike!
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Thanks Blue! Who knows? I may actually finish this one in less than 6 years! ;D
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Thanks Blue! Who knows? I may actually finish this one in less than 6 years! ;D
would be nice...
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*Applaudes* Awesome, love the fic!
Oh, and if you have the tiem anyone, mind if you maybe drop by my fanfiction, Animorphs: The Continuation, and maybe give me some feedback?
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Love your fic Sean! I'll try to give some real comments on it later, but great work so far.
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Thank you Phoenix. I'm going to finish Chapter Three and then go back to working on my vampire novel. This will be my writer's block stretch for now. ;)
Post Merged: December 14, 2010, 12:10:22 PM
Post Merged: December 14, 2010, 12:48:29 PM
Initial Thoughts:
Self insertions are nothing new. All fanfiction is a self insertion, no matter how you cut it. Even if you're not introducing a new character to the story. Even if it was just a story about the Animorphs themselves, you're still inserting your own sensibilities and your own ideas of what the characters would and wouldn't do. Even those authors who get paid to write movie and TV tie-ins are basically writing self-insertion fanficiton of some kind.
So, there's certainly nothing wrong with inserting yourself here.
There's a very nice blend of reality and fiction here that you maintain throughout this book. Your character Mike, while essentially being given this bolt from Olympus, has surprisingly real reactions to being thrust into this situation.
I like how he believes he could do everything differently, when in fact the opposite seems to happen. Not only do events unfold much the same way they happened in the books. But the fact that Mike is bound to the Ellemist's terms as well the all of the rules of the Animorphs Universe is unique and keeps him from becoming a Mary Sue of sorts. The fact that the Animorphs suspect things about him shows that you know the characters well and understand their intelligence.
I know you wrote this long ago and there are some things I would offer in terms of advice. Take it with a grain of salt.
A few times, when the Animorphs are speaking, you have them speaking with English grammar. Mum instead of mom, for example. It's only a technical thing and by now you've probably heard the criticsm before. I just think that since we know your character is English, you could show the contrast between them by remembering American terminology with their characters.
The comedy of the differences between us Yanks and you Brits has made for some very interesting moments in comedy and drama and I think this is something you could explore more.
Also, when Mike acquires the Harrison hawk, "you" explain to the reader that Harrison Hawks are used by bird trainers. Then when Tobias asks Mike how he got a bird morph, Mike stumbles and falters. Now, as character development, I could actually see this as a good thing. It means that Mike is still human and not a Mary Sue as I said before. He's prone to mistakes just like the others.
But, if Mike knows Harrison hawks and how they fit into culture, he could have easily told Tobias, "There was this guy in the park training his hawk for a show and I asked if I could pet him."? Or something like that. Otherwise it works in the context of Mike's character development.
I'll be reading the next book shortly.
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Cool, I look forward to reading more of your Vampire story (assuming you are still willing to post more of it).
Thank you for the in-depth review of my fic, it's rare that a get a detailed response so I really appreciate it. There are parts of this first fic that genuinely make me cringe when I read them, mainly because I was 13 when I first started this fic and some of my ideas seem ridiculous now. Sadly these tend to be things that would require a re-write to get rid of.
The Harris Hawk thing is a classic example of this. At the time I thought it sounded cool having the Ellimist provide his first morph, especially since the bird morph I wanted doesn't live in that part of America. In hindsight, your suggestion of meeting a bird handler is far simpler and more plausible than the Ellimist giving him help. In fact, if I ever do edit this fic properly, I might just use that idea, so thank you for mentioning it.
I'm aware that self-insertions aren't even slightly original (something I didn't know when I was 13) but like you said all fiction is that way to some extent. At least in my case there's no pretence: it's supposed to be me in the story. Literally.
The limitations imposed on Mike by the Ellimist are one of the few parts of the story I'm still proud of, as they limit drastic change to the story. It also fits better with the way the Ellimist works; small subtle changes leading to bigger ones down the line.
However, I'm less impressed with my idea of Mike being able to morph extinct creatures for no apparent reason. At the time I just figured Mike would acquire them from fossils, but obviously that makes no sense. Even if he had access to the necessary DNA, we know animals have to be alive in order to acquire them. I would just remove this idea entirely, but it's actually part of a couple of important plot developments I have in mind for later on.
Mike could have told Tobias a more convincing story, but he was caught off guard and it's a handy excuse for making Tobias suspicious (since I planned on everyone confronting Mike at the end).
It never really occurred to me to alternate between mum and mom, since I'm the one writing it and I spell it the British way (A.K.A. the correct way, lol). The British/America humour is something that plays more of a role in later fics, in fact it's already been mentioned in the sequel in an exchange with Marco.
Thanks again for your comments Sean. Hopefully I'll find time to work on the sequel more soon.
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Review of Book 2: The Message
Good start so far. I agree with your decision to skip two and three altogether, especially if you had nothing of your own to really add to it. Since The Encounter was largely a Tobias development book, seeing it from the others' point of view would have been superfluous.
I think you've got a very realistic idea of what would happen if there was a sixth Animorph from the beginning. Even without the Ellemist's intervention, you make it believable that the events would have unfolded the way they did. Although I do have to ask how you plan to handle Marco's story, since the Dolphin thing is no longer a straw on the Camel's back. Will "Mike" try to stear them clear of the ant morph and suggest a safer way into the house? How will Marco deal with the fact that Mike knew all along about his mother?
Some criticisms. Take it with a grain of salt. I know you wrote the first one a ways back and I'm not entirely sure when you wrote book two. But since you mentioned possibly ediiting it, here are some things to consider.
In the time Animorphs was first written, IE 1998, Nintendo Wi didn't exist and the first X-Box just barely came out. Remember, Marco was challenging his dad to Doom. Doom was the height of computer gaming in 1998 and I remember Duke Nukem and Blood 2 following shortly after.
One thing that stuck out to me is as Mike is acquiring the dolphin, pretty much his entire internal monologue about the dolphins is very similar to Cassie's in the original book. You kind of did the same thing when they encounter the sharks. Now, I know most of the Animorphs would have basically said the same thing. When it comes to describing the animals there's not a lot of variation in the opinions on animals.
I guess the thing I would suggest there is to try to keep as much of your own voice as possible. It's okay if you believe Dolphins are intelligent as well, but different world views are going to make different versions of the same opinion.
Anyway, sorry if that's not nearly as in depth as the first one, but I'll give you more if you ever get around to finishing the story. I liked the Ax bit as it shows you read Megamorphs Four and you managed to squeeze a little continuity into the storyline.
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Thanks again for the review Sean, I really appreciate it. Always nice to know people are still reading my work, even though I haven't updated in ages.
Naturally I don't want to give away spoilers, but there's a good chance I will skip #5. I'm thinking of showing the end of it (as Visser One is plot relevant) and then going straight to #6 *(which I'm really looking forward to writing). However, I'm still uncertain regarding the Ant incident. If I decide to change it, I will write about it.
My second fic was started... wow, 2 years ago? Bit longer than I thought, but still recent compared to my first (started 2003). Anyway, I have mentioned the technology thing before, and decided to alter the timeline slightly to allow certain technology to be around. Aside from certain games consoles, this shouldn't really affect the plot of my fics, as due to the morphing power I don't see the Animorphs carrying mobile phones on missions.
I realise that me talking about Dolphins is quite similar to Cassie's monologue, despite not being intentional. Each of the Animorphs has a personality trait I share. In Cassie's case, it's her love of animals. I work with animals and love telling random facts about them, so if I rant about animals in my fics, I assure you it's my voice not Cassie's.
Due to being busy this month, I've had trouble finding time to work on this, but I'm still hoping to have another chapter up soon. Thanks again for the review. I'm about to go out but when I get back I'll review you fic properly. :)
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If anyone don't mind, could someone possibly give me some feedback on The Continuation? It's on page 2, haven't looked at it in awhile.
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I wasn't sure if you'd want the review here or in your thread, so this is where I decided to post it for now.
In the year 2015, eighteen years after the renowned invasion of earth and the brave group of teenagers called the Animorphs who thwarted their attempts, humanity had improved greatly. Countries across the globe now knew of a threat bigger than anything they had ever thought possible. Just because the yeerks had been pushed back once didn’t mean they wouldn’t attack again to claim the wealth of human host bodies.
This could be a very good start. But the first sentence needs a bit of rewording. Even in fanfiction, it's a good idea to read the sentence outloud to yourself to hear how it would sound if you spoke it.
In the year 2015, eighteen years after the renowned invasion of earth and the brave group of teenagers called the Animorphs who thwarted their attempts,[i/] --Did what? You attempted to allude to the events of the series but you sort of stopped mid sentence and then added something completely different.-- humanity had improved greatly.
You may also want to clarify some things. First you say that it was the year 2015 that things improved greatly. But the construction of the fleet began in 2005. And in what ways did humanity improve? Did we stop fighting each other? Did our interaction with the Andalites and the freed Hork-Bajir make us a better race over all? Or did we simply improve technologically?
Since we see the Andalite fleet in this chapter, is it the Andalites who propose that the Yeerks are still a threat? Is it simple punishment, the way Germany was forced to pay damages in World War 1 and 2 or are the Yeerks genuinely a threat to humanity?
It's okay if you're writing the story based on what you believe would happen. But as a writer, you want to give your characters good reasons to come to these conclusions on their own, otherwise it sounds like you're just preaching. The best example that comes to mind here is L. Ron Hubbard's Battlefield Earth.
After the initial steps to take back the planet, Johnny Taylor and the other humans go to Africa. And the Africans are portrayed as being primitive, amoral savages who are easily duped by Terryl in his bid to be free of them. Basically, it's Hubbard's opinion of Africa. There's no reason to believe they would become any worse off than the rest of the world, but it's clear from how he portrays the "civilized" countries that this is what he believed.
Don't know if that makes much sense.
So in 2005 the United Nations dissolved into the Earth Space Command. This organization was more or less like the United Nations, but more focused on humanities stellar presence. They started construction of warships, and scavenging captured yeerk dracon beams to create their own weapons. In the year 2012, the ESC declared war on the Yeerk Empire and was committed to wiping them out.
Humanities should be "humanity's" in this sentence.
On the matter of the declaration of war, again, I have to ask why? Is it simple Occupation? Is it like the Americans occupying Japan after bombing Pearl Harbor? Are the Yeerks on Earth, who accepted permanent morphs, being punished or interred? Did the Yeerk Empire make another strike against Earth that provoked the war or are the humans following suit with the Andalites? Are they trying to prove their clout to the Andalites by picking on the lesser of two evils?
Maybe this isn't about the Yeerks, but about the Andalites themselves. That could make for a very interesting plot turn if it turned out that humans were simply trying to show off their weaponry.
<Report> The Tactical Officer, or TO responded.
This comes up quite a bit throughout the story. You present good punctuation, but you forget to end sentences correctly. The thought-speak bracket is the equivalent of quotations for voiced speech. There should always be a comma or a period.
<Captain, the Elfangor says they will here in another seventeen point 0391 minutes> The captain pondered this data.
This is another one that creeps up throughout the story. One person will be speaking but you will refer to an entirely different person. This can get confusing after awhile as we begin to wonder just who we're supposed to be paying attention too.
An example of a better way to do this would be:
<Report!> We know the Captain is speaking here. New Paragraph to change our attention to the TO.
<Captain, the Elfangor says they will here in another seventeen point 0391 minutes,> The Tactical Officer (TO) responded.
<Good, good.> The captain replied, thoughtfully. <Then we shall commence the attack in another twenty minutes. Inform the fleet. Begin final preparations for combat.>
See how the story flows better when you know who is speaking?
Aboard the ESC Cruiser Enterprise, Private Jared Miles sat in his bunk,
This is where the story should really have begun, in my opinion. You start out trying to do what I like to call an "info dump". The magic of The Animorphs Series to me has always been that we don't know anything the main narrator doesn't know. And through their eyes we learn a little bit more about the universe with each step.
I mean, tell me you didn't have a new respect for the Yeerks when you saw Esplin 9466 take his first host. As we see it through his eyes we understood the Yeerk Empire a little bit more.
Similarly, Private Jared Miles should be introducing us to the world. We should be seeing the current state of things through his eyes and from there the story of the universe and what has been happening since the events of fifty-four will begin to unfold.
Anyhow, I'll read some more later in the week. I hope this helps somewhat.
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Pretty good story. Still, I would prefer if you had Mike making INDIRECT suggestions, like when Marco wants to leave, Mike tells him he knows what he's thinking and tells him to stay and that he'll find out soon, something like that, cryptic but not altogether revealing. BTW would you like to check my and Aldrea's Animorphs/Terminator/Harry Potter crossover?
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Thanks for the feedback! Yeah, I really rushed through that begining intro, I wanted to start writing the actual story, anyway I've re-written the introduction and I'll go post it now.
I'l definitely be modifying this more later, since this was written during another stage of my writing development I've gotten better since then.
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Great new chapter. The added bit of Mike searching for something useful in the cargo area is a sign that you're trying to make the story your own and not just a clone of the original book. I can't remember, did they go searching for blankets in The Message? I'll have to read that again.
It was heavy, but I could just about handle it without accidentally breaking something (eg. like my wrist).
That last bit could be done without the parenthesis I think. It's not a huge deal either way, but it stands out to me.
I'm eagerly awaiting Mike's meeting of Ax here and seeing how you're going to handle that bit.
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Thanks for the review Sean. No they didn't try to explore the ship at all in the book, which is exactly why I had Mike do it. It's difficult for the early book trying to make the story my own without radically altering the outcome, which I will be doing more later on. Basically I'm trying to imagine what I would do in the situations they find themselves in and using that to change the story and hopefully make it more interesting and original.
I'm also looking forward to introducing Ax. I already have some ideas in mind for what's going to happen when they meet and Mike tries to explain his unique situation.
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So when are you going to make some major changes? Around what books?
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That would be telling now wouldn't it? ;)
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I thought I'd answer this here. Gafrash asked me if I was a Chee fan, in regards to my use of the Chee in Chronicles of Sean.
I definitely like the idea of the Chee. And I think there was a lot of undeveloped potential as far using them as characters go. But mostly I used the Chee because I needed an original way to kind of jump Sean into the Animorphs universe.
In Animorphs fanfiction, either the "new Animoprh" was helped by the Ellemist somehow, or was in the construction site with the original gang, or the story is bacially a clone of The Invasion with new kids who are basically clones of the Animorphs (including one "Animorph" that gets inexplicably trapped for whatever reason) and an equally cloned Elfangor character who was on the same ship and happens to have a morphing cube on him. (They had a big bowl of morphing cubes on the ship with a sign that said take one. That's why Elfangor had his apparently)
So I figure, Sean. He gets his morphing ability in an equally convoluted way, by literally tripping and falling on it. But it's still something I haven't seen. So if he gets this power that he doesn't even know about, what's to stop the Yeerks from also tripping and falling on them? Bring in the Chee.
The idea for Bryce and his family had been in my head literally since high school. Only when I wrote fanfiction in those days, it was the Ellemist who gave them to me...er, my character. Like I said though, fanfictions like that were a dime a dozen and the Chee were honestly the only angle I had for this time around. And it gave me a chance to explore some of the aspects of the Chee that I felt KA and the Ghost Writers could have touched on.
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I think it was a good choice, NateSean. The Chee weren't that well expanded on throughout the series beyond a handful of books. We only get a sense of them via Erek, Mr. King, Lourdes, etc... but we were also made to believe that there were more, all over the globe. And we all know the Chee have infiltrated the Yeerks via The Sharing.
It's great to explore ways in which they could have been more active in defending Earth from the Yeerk threat. Fits in to what you use to support your theories (ref. to the Anis morphing in the open and not being spotted, the Blue Cube not being found...). Other times it seems like they are too powerful-know-it-all (ref. to knowing e-x-a-c-t-l-y where the 3 actual Andalite survivors were).
I look forward to seeing how you will link things like the Pemalite crystal, Planet Iskoort, Snoop dog ship and so on.
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Oh, I realized when I saw where I wanted to take The Complication that Sean wouldn't be getting his battle morph just yet. His situation is about to get more complicated though and Bryce will become a major focus of the forth edition to the series.
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That's good to hear, I like Bryce's character. I'm dying to find out what Sean's battle morph is going to be though!
:edit:
Some of you probably already know that I have a fanfiction.net account where I also publish my Animorphs Travels stories, although I often update here on RAF long before I remember to post new chapters over there. However, it's now unlikely I'll continue to post updates on fanfiction.net, as I've just discovered that a user there has been stealing my work (literally copy/pasting it). Naturally I've reported the user (after sending them an angry message) but I no longer trust fanfiction.net with my work. Luckily for you guys, I will still continue to post updates here on RAF when I eventually get around to writing new chapters.
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I don't think anyone is even watching Fanfiction.net or it's sister site, fictionpress anymore.
The proof is in the fact that people keep posting Anne Rice fanfiction on fictionpress, which is supposed to be a site for original fiction and not fanfiction. Definitely not Anne Rice fanfiction.
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Yeah well even before this I was cautious about posting any original work online and this experience has pretty much proven my paranoia to be justified.
:edit:
I reported MeClara1234 (the lying thief) 2 days ago and haven't had any kind of response yet. Any idea how long a reply should take from fanfiction.net?
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Is her posting still up?
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Yes it's all still there. I've been skimming her work and most of it is either copied straight from the Animorphs books or stolen from me. The only original work (assuming it's not stolen from someone else) she has is ridiculous sub-plots that make no sense and destroy my character.
Apparently someone else reported her for copyright violation back in January and nothing seems to have been done so it looks like there's not much I can do besides not posting my fic there anymore.
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That's awful, Mike. I've always posted my stuff on ff.net, but I'm starting to reconsider. I get more reviews there, but I don't want anyone stealing my work. >_>
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It's like I said, I just don't think anyone's actually monitoring ff.net anymore. I'd be seriously surprised if there was even a single moderator working there.
A friend of mine went through the same thing years ago, back when you could still put MSTs up.
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Yeah it's a shame because there are some nice people on there and some of them have been very patient waiting for my updates, so it's a little sad to leave. On the other hand, I find it much easier to just update on RAF (where you can actually use thought speech symbols).
The user who stole from me has apologised, removed all "her" work and has seemingly quit the site. I still don't trust her though, as there's nothing stopping her stealing my work again or posting it on another site. I've notified everyone there that I'm leaving.
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I thought the thing with the thought speak brackets was a little odd. I know it's a recent thing of course because years ago you could use them.
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I thought the thing with the thought speak brackets was a little odd. I know it's a recent thing of course because years ago you could use them.
It's been that way for at least five or six years. When I joined in 2000 you could use thought-speech brackets, but it wasn't long after I joined that it changed.
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That's good to hear, I like Bryce's character. I'm dying to find out what Sean's battle morph is going to be though!
Oh! There's my name! What fic is this!?
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Wait your name isn't Blue? :O
And yeah ever since I started posting on fanfic.net thought speech marks haven't worked.
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That's good to hear, I like Bryce's character. I'm dying to find out what Sean's battle morph is going to be though!
Oh! There's my name! What fic is this!?
Chronicles of Sean. Check them out.
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I was really sad that you had to leave ff.net because I was LOVING this multiverse. You said something about with the show Supernatural so I started to look up wikis so I don't feel too dumb about references.
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I don't recall mentioning Supernatural, although it is probably my favourite TV show.
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I don't think anyone is even watching Fanfiction.net or it's sister site, fictionpress anymore.
The proof is in the fact that people keep posting Anne Rice fanfiction on fictionpress, which is supposed to be a site for original fiction and not fanfiction. Definitely not Anne Rice fanfiction.
REALLY?! Wow, I'm so there. I respect and admire Anne's policy on fanfic, but it still drives me crazy.
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I should be posting the next chapter of Animorphs Travels #2 next week. After completing this fic, I will be doing a re-write of Animorphs Travels #1 in order to correct various things. Once that's complete I'll finally get to work on Animorphs Travels #3, which I've been looking forward to writing for a long time. :)
:edit:
As I already said, I'll be rewriting AT#1 after I finish AT#2. If any of you have read AT#1 recently (or feel like reading it again) feel free to make some constructive criticisms.
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I should be posting the next chapter of Animorphs Travels #2 next week. After completing this fic, I will be doing a re-write of Animorphs Travels #1 in order to correct various things. Once that's complete I'll finally get to work on Animorphs Travels #3, which I've been looking forward to writing for a long time. :)
:edit:
As I already said, I'll be rewriting AT#1 after I finish AT#2. If any of you have read AT#1 recently (or feel like reading it again) feel free to make some constructive criticisms.
Can't wait for it! What I really loved, later on, was introducing all of the other characters that Michael didn't predict! :D
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What characters? :huh:
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My first Animorphs one-shot's up, what y'all think?
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Hoping to get some reviews of Chronicles of Sean Book 2: The Complication, which I just finished.
You can place the review in the story's thread if you wish, or leave it here, which ever you feel comfortable with.
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I just hope he gets the next one done!!! its a huge cliff hanger!!!
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Hope who gets what done?
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i hope you post soon, ive been checking back lots!
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Been ages since I read any fanfics, but I'm finally caught up on your work Sean and I'm loving your latest fic so far. I'm looking forward to reading more about this new host (vampire?) and about how Sean met the other Animorphs. It seems to be well written so far, making me interested without revealing too much of what has happened between this story and the previous fic.
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I do appreciate it. Now that I have a job at long last, I'm trying to get back into finishing my writing projects, including my fanfictions. I'm also trying to read and critique more, but you know how hard it can be to get around to that. ;)
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Hi Sean could you do me a favor and read my knew fanfic "Project Tailblade" it wont take you long, its just like one page.
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My apologies for neglecting this board as of late, haven't had much time to read fics lately. Especially during last month when I was competing in Nano Wrimo, which I failed in any case, lol. Anyway, I'm going to try and start reading through some of your fics again and hopefully get back to work on my own as well.
I doubt many of you remember my Animorphs Travels fics, but I was never very happy with how my first fic turned out. Granted I was 13 when I started it, but still. I started a revised version of my first fic a while back and once I've re-written enough of it I'm going to start posting again. There will be some details changed, such as resetting my story to the default Animorphs timeline (rather than present day) and a few other things. The quality of the writing will also (hopefully) be improved. I might just wait until next year to start posting it, but if any of you are interested I'll let you all know.
Best of luck to all our current fanfic writers! :)
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So, I think I'm going to attempt to complete my reboot of The Traitor. I sat down and made an actual timeline for Terenia and I think I have a better idea of the details of her story. We'll see. It'll give me something to do over break. :)
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Sounds good Jessi, I need to read more of your stuff again. You're a really good writer. :)
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Can we use this thread to make recommendations for fics that we've found? Or is there another thread for that? Because I have found a fic that has blown my mind, and I need to SHARE IT.
If there's a better place to post this, I'll put it there, but in the meantime, everyone go read this awesome, amazing, mind-blowing Animorphs/Avengers crossover: http://archiveofourown.org/works/440446 (http://archiveofourown.org/works/440446)
I've been told that I have some really good ideas for crossovers. THIS ONE IS BETTER THAN ANYTHING I HAVE EVER COME UP WITH.
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I think that you are doing a great job on it. I have read all that you have posted on fanfiction.net and love it.
I think you should keep writing it. It kinda left me hanging. ;) But so far you are doing a good job. :)
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Hey, y'all. I was hoping for a little feedback on my fanfic #55: The Following (http://animorphsforum.com/index.php?topic=10456.msg845925 (http://animorphsforum.com/index.php?topic=10456.msg845925)). Basically, I'm looking to see if you think everything is in character, the dialogue isn't wacky, scenes are coherent (for as long as they're meant to be), and the symbolism isn't too heavy-handed.
Compliments, complaints, critiques and comments are all welcome.
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Hey, y'all. I was hoping for a little feedback on my fanfic #55: The Following (http://animorphsforum.com/index.php?topic=10456.msg845925 (http://animorphsforum.com/index.php?topic=10456.msg845925)). Basically, I'm looking to see if you think everything is in character, the dialogue isn't wacky, scenes are coherent (for as long as they're meant to be), and the symbolism isn't too heavy-handed.
Compliments, complaints, critiques and comments are all welcome.
I think you're doing an amazing job so far! Putting my review under a spoiler, it got... pretty long.
[spoiler]Small nitpicks:
I am unsure if Menderash is able to use thought-speak as a human nothlit, but because canon is a bit shaky in that regard with the books retconning it and then bringing it back again, I can accept it. It could be that since it's a morph for Andalites, then that means that perhaps only they can use thought-speak in human morph, while a demorphed human cannot thought-speak?
I love including bits of how you interpret the newer characters' appearances, I like knowing how others imagine them! However, I'd change "Asian features" as it may be a bit too vague of a descriptor. It's the difference between imagining facial features that are common in places like China, or Saudi Arabia, or Siberia, or India, and so on.
Other than that, I can't think of any criticisms at the moment!
General review:
Honestly, it's one of the best Book 55 fics I've read! Marco, Tobias, and Jake, to me, all seem in character given the circumstances that they've found themselves in. And I'm beyond pleased whenever authors take up the challenge of fleshing out minor characters like this. It's sadly very rare, and unfortunately more common for fics to turn them into mere background characters or to just get rid of them. I'm impressed by your interpretation of Menderash's character, creating so much out of the little information and cues we were given of his character. I like the little details you add also, with him being hesitant to climb down (The Fay Wray comment was perfect, very Marco), or the part about only agreeing to wear clothing because of pockets (I hope no one tells him about backpacks). I'm very excited to see how you flesh out Jeanne and Santorelli as well, if/when you do!
Tobias must have been feeling isolated through his perspective because everyone keeps trying to convince him to be on good terms with Jake before he's fully moved on. Sounds pretty accurate, actually. Tobias is very sensitive, and it seems like the insensitive collective want from everyone to make him get over it and bring him back with the rest of the group would grate on him enough to push himself further away. It's definitely an understandable thing for post-book-54 Tobias to feel and react, in my opinion. I think you're doing a great job with his character.
I also felt it made sense that Tobias would not even become close with Menderash. It's definitely possible that Tobias felt uncomfortable about how it all 'hit too close to home' and he may not know how to deal with being someone that Menderash could confide in about adjusting to life as a nothlit. Menderash tentatively trying to open up to Tobias this whole time but Tobias not being receptive made a lot of sense for Tobias' character and it was really sad. I'm glad they were able to have a small moment about that though.
Marco is analytical and gets things the quickest here, as is true to his character. I'm glad that he takes up a much more active role as opposed to only being the comedic relief/chronic whiner of the group. Marco is often a pretty hard character to get down just right, but I think you're doing well. It is hard to tell completely until he's given more 'screen time', though. I loved that Santorelli nicknamed him 'Hollywood', hah.
Jake seems to have been stretched too thin, and after being targeted too! I think it makes sense he'd snap quite a bit, especially without anyone to de-escalate him like Cassie used to. He has no idea how to talk to Tobias at all anymore, it's like Jake's behavior is a reaction to Tobias' behavior, which is a reaction to Jake's behavior, etc. A very realistic outcome from all that's happened, given that they've been cooped up in The Rachel together, and Tobias has not been able to fly in the open air or hunt for nearly a year or so. The animosity and short-fuses between them is at this point very in character, I think.
The dialogue, scenes, symbolism, all of it flows very well and feels very natural to me -- as natural as they can be given the dream sequences of course. I liked the deja vu aspect in their dreams, repeating lines without realizing it, it felt very dream-like.[/spoiler]
I think your fic is good stuff, I'm going to keep it tracked for more updates! :thumbsup:
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Thanks for a highly thoughtful review! I appreciate it! :D
Canon is pretty solid on the issue of thoughtspeak in human morph. Ax does it on occasion. I think Applegate said herself there was really no reason they couldn't, given that human is just another morph for him, like any other. Jake using thoughtspeak in #1 was just a KASU because she hadn't figured out all the rules just yet.
Gah, you reminded me that I hadn't given everyone actual appearance descriptions yet. :P "Asian features" was just a stand-in phrase I was using because I hadn't bothered to write that out yet. XD
As for everything else, wow. You know EXACTLY where I'm coming from. I'm glad you picked up on so many of the little things. I'm used to people missing all that, and it made me happy seeing you pointing that stuff out. :D
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Canon is pretty solid on the issue of thoughtspeak in human morph. Ax does it on occasion. I think Applegate said herself there was really no reason they couldn't, given that human is just another morph for him, like any other. Jake using thoughtspeak in #1 was just a KASU because she hadn't figured out all the rules just yet.
Ah I see, that makes sense, and I hadn't known. I think Jake thought-speaking as human confused me, and had led me to assume Ax doing it was also a KASU! Disregard that entirely, then, haha.
As for everything else, wow. You know EXACTLY where I'm coming from. I'm glad you picked up on so many of the little things. I'm used to people missing all that, and it made me happy seeing you pointing that stuff out. :D
Oh, nice! I'm glad I wasn't completely off the mark, haha! I looooove little attention to details and all the nuances when it comes to characters, so I just have to admire when I see it handled well. I'm excited to see where you go with this fic!
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Hey, y'all. I was hoping for a little feedback on my fanfic #55: The Following (http://animorphsforum.com/index.php?topic=10456.msg845925 (http://animorphsforum.com/index.php?topic=10456.msg845925)). Basically, I'm looking to see if you think everything is in character, the dialogue isn't wacky, scenes are coherent (for as long as they're meant to be), and the symbolism isn't too heavy-handed.
Compliments, complaints, critiques and comments are all welcome.
Well I like what you have so far and I'm interested to see where the story is going.
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Forgot to mention, yeah, it bugs me when fanfic writers just ignore the newer characters and completely neglect their potential value. I read one fic that outright said Jeanne, Santorelli and Menderash had no experience, and that irritated me to no end. Jeanne is in Deuxieme (actually called the DGSE since WWII ended) which is basically the French CIA and more. Santorelli's a sergeant, which means the Army trusts him enough to lead a squad of soldiers and keep them safe, and his record has to have been impressive enough that they're putting him forward for the morphing program (which is kinda like Tom Clancy's Rainbow if you think about it). And Menderash was first officer to the great Aximili. 'Nuff said. They've all got interesting backgrounds, and I want to dig into it, not just blow them off like they're nothing.
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Forgot to mention, yeah, it bugs me when fanfic writers just ignore the newer characters and completely neglect their potential value. I read one fic that outright said Jeanne, Santorelli and Menderash had no experience, and that irritated me to no end. Jeanne is in Deuxieme (actually called the DGSE since WWII ended) which is basically the French CIA and more. Santorelli's a sergeant, which means the Army trusts him enough to lead a squad of soldiers and keep them safe, and his record has to have been impressive enough that they're putting him forward for the morphing program (which is kinda like Tom Clancy's Rainbow if you think about it). And Menderash was first officer to the great Aximili. 'Nuff said. They've all got interesting backgrounds, and I want to dig into it, not just blow them off like they're nothing.
I completely agree with you, its one of the things that pisses me off the most about Post Series fics. Well that and the Ellimist/Crayak snapping their fingers and bringing Rachel back. Its not that I mind the idea of her coming back, its the execution the bugs the hell out of me. For starters, that's not how either of the characters act in the books. What's more, its just so lazy. There are any number of ways to bring Rachel back besides 'god did it'. You could write whole stories about them finding the time matrix or so on. (Best way I've seen it done was using an Ixcila, the morphing allergy, coupled with the time Cassie morphed Rachel back in the series)
..err. Sorry for the mini-rant.
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Forgot to mention, yeah, it bugs me when fanfic writers just ignore the newer characters and completely neglect their potential value. I read one fic that outright said Jeanne, Santorelli and Menderash had no experience, and that irritated me to no end. Jeanne is in Deuxieme (actually called the DGSE since WWII ended) which is basically the French CIA and more. Santorelli's a sergeant, which means the Army trusts him enough to lead a squad of soldiers and keep them safe, and his record has to have been impressive enough that they're putting him forward for the morphing program (which is kinda like Tom Clancy's Rainbow if you think about it). And Menderash was first officer to the great Aximili. 'Nuff said. They've all got interesting backgrounds, and I want to dig into it, not just blow them off like they're nothing.
Oh, I totally agree.
Rereading 54 and, you know, I don't know much about military stuff, but I did find that Jake describes Santorelli as being only five years older than him, 25 or 26 maybe? Which is a lot younger than I'd expect from a former US Army Ranger. Jeanne is described as a 'trainee', but I'm not sure just how green a trainee really is. He described them both as being amazingly smart, fit, and disciplined. I wouldn't think they're experts, but I don't think they're completely without experience within their fields either.
And even without knowing anything about him before the mission, it states that Menderash goes through a lot just to bring news back, it's absolutely wild what he endures. After knowing all that, it's pretty anti-climactic to have him just die for no reason almost immediately in fic. I mean, hey, if Tobias can survive being a hawk nothlit for quite a few books until he got his morphing back, I'd say a human nothlit Menderash has a possibility of surviving for a little while too. Of course, I don't think he'd make it out of the mission alive, but boy it'd be hilariously impressive to see a fic pull that off somehow!
Anyway, I think fic writers ought to take note that it's difficult to get much of an emotional response from readers by killing off a character (or characters) that ended up being nothing more than background noise in their fic.
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In which fan fic do descendants of the original Animorphs resist a renewed Yeerk invasion? The descendants start out the story by acquiring their morphing licenses, then applying to acquire certain morphs (the animals of which are held in "The Gardens" for that purpose). They aren't allowed any really dangerous morphs. If they obtain an illegal morph, they are forced to burp it out as per Rachel in "The Reaction". These rules are enforced by a chip that each morpher carries inside his body.
The Andalites are allowing the above in return for a Krispy Creme franchise on their homeworld.
The Crayak is playing a game with "The One". As part of the game, the Animorph Descendants are to oppose a renewed Yeerk invasion. Only the descendants are allowed to know of the Yeerks, and the Yeerks have been allowed some morph capable human hosts.
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Hi everyone! I'm looking for some opinions on my current fanfic, Seer.
I started the fic almost two years ago, and though I put a lot of work in it, it gets no comments on FanFiction, and only XenoFrobe has really followed it on this site. (Thanks Xeno!)
I want to know if there is something that puts you off of it, so that I can avoid those mistakes in the future.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9525996/1/Seer (https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9525996/1/Seer)
Thanks a bunch!
Adam
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Hi everyone! I'm looking for some opinions on my current fanfic, Seer.
I started the fic almost two years ago, and though I put a lot of work in it, it gets no comments on FanFiction, and only XenoFrobe has really followed it on this site. (Thanks Xeno!)
I want to know if there is something that puts you off of it, so that I can avoid those mistakes in the future.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9525996/1/Seer (https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9525996/1/Seer)
Thanks a bunch!
Adam
I do like the Hork-Bajir morphing into a bird picture!
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Hi everyone! I'm looking for some opinions on my current fanfic, Seer.
I started the fic almost two years ago, and though I put a lot of work in it, it gets no comments on FanFiction, and only XenoFrobe has really followed it on this site. (Thanks Xeno!)
I want to know if there is something that puts you off of it, so that I can avoid those mistakes in the future.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9525996/1/Seer (https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9525996/1/Seer)
Thanks a bunch!
Adam
I do like the Hork-Bajir morphing into a bird picture!
Ah... Well at least the cover isn't bad, I guess =P
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Do we have a thread where people can post Animorphs fanfiction prompts, such as ideas they are too lazy to write themselves?
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Ok. So I've been asked before if I would do a sequel to my Animorphs/Beast Wars fic. Any ideas how to approach that? In the first story it was thought that the yeerks found a way to time travel, but it was just something set up by the ellimist.
http://animorphsforum.com/index.php?topic=177.0 (http://animorphsforum.com/index.php?topic=177.0)
(holy cow...was this really almost 10 years ago?)